He Dated Me a Year - Turns Out he has a Family
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old FemaleI had been with that man for more than a year, then I had to break it off because it became clear it wasn't going anywhere, although we did not have any conflicts. It was a hard time for me and I had searched for an answer about what had happened in all the wrong places, until I found out a short while ago that this man is married and has kids back home (on another continent).
I am shocked, because this means he had lied so many times to me. He left a trace of destruction in my heart and soul, moreover, he was my first man (and I am already in my late 20s) and I had really respected and loved him a lot.
I am usually not a proponent of revenge, but this has gone too far, and he does not even have the courage to apologize. Should I tell his wife?
RomanceClass.com AdviceIt is always really hard to be cheated on. It can take years to recover. However, getting revenge rarely makes you happy. The point is the damage is done already. There maybe all sorts of reasons that he did what he did. Maybe he was forced into his marriage by his parents and never wanted it. Surely there's a reason he wasn't with his wife for an entire year.
Instead of focussing on anger and revenge, focus on healing and going forward with your life. Numerous studies have proven that anger harms your own health. Happiness brings great health benefits. Focus on your family, your friends and being happy. You're only in your 20s. You're still a 'baby' as far as relationships go - your best years are all ahead of you. When you're 40 and in a long term marriage with your soulmate, you'll look back on this as a silly but instructive tiny blip in your life.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted ResponsesOur RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!
Tell the wife
