She Went to College then Left Me

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
This girl that I was seeing on and off for about a year recently told me she didn't love me anymore. No prior warning. In fact, we had slept together not even a week beforehand. She just decided out of nowhere that she no longer loved me.

She's started college recently and has been running with a sort of sketchy crowd. Her new friends don't like me. Claim that I'm some kind of stalker even though if anyone was obsessed with anyone, it was her. Calling me late at night, writing me poems and songs, getting insanely jealous and giving me her virginity when I found someone else, she was crazy about me, and I still am about her.

I've been positively miserable without her. I can't fathom how all of that could've suddenly disappeared, but I'm honestly afraid to just ask her. We're still good friends in spite of her new crowd and I don't want to do anything to push her any further away, but I don't know how I'm supposed to move on if I don't even know what went wrong.

In spite of things like her racist parents and disapproving friends, she said she would love me forever and always. I just want to know what could've happened to that. Advice
Unfortunately, when people go off to college it's very common for them to want to expand their horizons and explore and "have fun". We get note after note on this site about couples who were fine until one of them went to college - and once there that person decided to have fun exploring all options. It's only after college is over that the person settled down and began to think more seriously about relationships again.

I would give it time and remain her friend. Be there for her. Let her get over the college-new-excitement phase and settle in. Then start to see if you can ease back more seriously into her life.

Good luck!

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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