Final Contact with an Ex

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hi there...

I have been separated from an ex for going on 1 1/2 years...

For the last year I reached out 4X with no luck through 2 texts, a nice letter and a voicemail...They were all nice and pressure-free

I havent tried anything in 5 months and her birthday is coming up soon and I want to try ONE LAST time to reach out to her.

I dont believe in email and I dont think I have the nerve to call her.

So I have narrowed it to either one last birthday text just "wishing her well and telling her I'm thinking of her" OR sending her a birthday card in the mail stating the same thing.

Do you suggest one or the other? Or would you try something different?

This is the last attempt so I want to make it count.

I would appreciate feedback! Advice
I would definitely send a real life birthday card. People save and treasure physical items. I know many people who still have the birthday cards they were sent in high school, because they mean so much to them. So send her a card, and tuck in a little something, like an origami crane or something like that. Something tangible. That way she has something to remind her of you and to read and re-read. Who knows, she might finally be ready to start up a friendship with you, and rebuild the relationship.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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