Waiting to Date until After College



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
ok my mom and dad both think i should start dating after college but i wanna start in high school. i know they're worried but i don't plan on having sex for a very long time and am worry i'll get even more uncomfortable around boys.




RomanceClass.com Advice
It is fairly unusual for parents to keep their child from dating until after college. The dating process is about learning to interact with potential partners. It is learning all the normal conversation skills, interaction skills, dining skills, and so on. Those are all important things to learn and they take a while to master. You are exactly right - if you didn't do any of that for eight long years and then had to start from scratch when you were 23, that doesn't seem right. It would be like never managing your own finances until after college and then POOF being required to balance a checkbook, manage your rent and utility payments and everything else with no practice at all.

You can agree to sign a pledge with them to remain chaste, if that's their concern. But you should be allowed to practice the myriad of life skills that dating involves. They are important to long term relationships. And no, it's not the same practicing them with a female friend. Right or wrong, our culture puts different expectations on how men and women act, and it's important to learn all of those subtle expectations.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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