Should I ask her again?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
There is this girl that I worked with up until very recently. We had worked together for about 2 years and I always knew I liked her but she had a boyfriend who she was living with. In August he broke up with her and when I saw her at work a day or so later my heart broke for her. When I saw all that sadness and pain in those beautiful blue eyes of her's that are always so full of life I realized how much I truly cared for her and that I wanted to be the one to put her heart back together. I just wanted to hold her tight and make sure she never felt that pain and sadness ever again. A few days later she decided she was going to go back to school-2 hours away. When I heard that my world fell apart and I decided that if she wasn't going to work there anymore I had no reason to be there either. So I decided that I would go back to school as well(her wanting a change inspired me to make a change as well) but be attending school here. I expected her to be staying at work til the end of the year but she started a chat with me online a little over a month ago and said she would be quitting mid October. Once again my world came crashing down. A week or so later she broke up with her boyfriend, who she had gotten back together with, because she was no longer happy with him. So with only a few more days left of getting to work with her I decided I had to ask her on a date(I'm 23 and never had a girlfriend nor asked a girl out). The day I decided to ask her, she asked if I had seen a picture of her on facebook of her in a formal dress(something she doesn't ever wear) and I nervously managed to squeek out a "you looked pretty" and later that night asked if I had ever been to this haunted house thing and that I should go with my brother(I thought she was hinting at the 2 of us going) and I said no had never been there. A few minutes later I mustered the courage to ask her on a date(I don't even really remember what I said I was so nervous-Knees weak, hands sweaty and shaking, throat went dry) and she said "I can't do that right now but if I can I'll let you know I promise". I've only got to see her a few times in the last 4 weeks since and she seems to act like nothing happened and it meant nothing to her. She'll be moving soon, but would still be visiting often here because of friends and family. I love her and miss her after just a few days apart. I'm breaking without her and need her in my life. That light that comes from her life could fix me, complete me and fianlly give me what I've always wanted-happiness. I don't want to lose her, and I want to ask her out again but also want her to know I don't just want a date, I want her heart and her love. I want to kiss her, hold her, love her and never let her go. I'm terrified that I'm fighting a battle I've already lost because I don.t know what her answer meant. I don.t know if it meant she likes me but isn't ready for a relationship yet, or if its because she's moving and thinks I would complicate things. I don't want to get in the way of her being happy and starting this new life, but I'm broken, lost and comepletely empty without her. What do I do to keed this beautiful angel in my life?

P.S. Sorry for the novel Advice
I think you have a lot of insight already about what is going on. It sounds like she is mentally moving away, and not just physically. She probably is interested in getting her new life in gear and leaving the past behind. You might consider letting her do that - and that if you are meant to be together, it will happen.

Or you could work up your courage, go visit her in her new town, and tell her exactly how you feel. Think through everything you want to tell her and make the 'big' romantic gesture - put your all into it. You can't know if you don't try. And if she does turn you down, you will *know* it is time to move on. Good luck.

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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