He Likes Me, I Am Already Taken

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Okay, so there is this guy friend that I have. He had told me a while back that he liked this other girl, but when i asked him if he liked her only because she was pretty he said no, that she was pretty but not compared to me. That i was gorgeous.

Okay so I didn't think anything of it and just kept on advising him on the other girl because she was taken. He was very frustrated with this issue.

So time passed and our communication kind of died a bit. So one morning he calls me and asks me if I am busy and if he could stop by the house to talk to me. I was sleepy and had no idea what I was doing. I just gave him a quick sure why not without thinking and hung up. Eventually I realized what had happened and woke up and all so when he got there it was just us two in his automobile. It was kind of awkward so I broke the silence by making small talk and then went on asking him why he wanted to come over.

He started saying he just wanted to apologize for being so distant lately but that's all he really said. I tried to break the silence once more by telling him it was nothing to be sorry about. He was beginning to get older as in getting a job graduation from high school and starting college. He was just busy and that I understood.

After that we made some more small talk and we parted.

I still feel like he wanted to say something else. I am not sure if it's just me or he really needed to say something. I have not confronted him about this because I do not want to mess up our friendship. I also have a boyfriend and I do not want him thinking that there is something going on since he had already messed up his friend's relationship with his girlfriend (the girl he spoke to me about).

Sometimes I would text him or call him just to keep in touch but he is always teasing me and playing mind games like ex. We were talking about login informations and how sometimes they are hard to remember when you have so many and he went on saying yeah that's why i make them all the same, they are all your name. I kind of ignored it and pretended that he meant something else by it cause i didn't want to give him the pleasure, but he still repeated it.

Also when I call him we can easily talk for 30 mins or more and mostly is him teasing me and asking about my boyfriend and making jokes about my boyfriend and I splitting and etc.

Sorry for writing so much just wanted to be as explicit as could be and it is bugging me. I don't want to be confronting him and embarrass myself to then find out he is just playing around with me.

So is he trying to say something or just making a fool of me?! I really need some advice on this, thanks!

RomanceClass.com Advice
Clearly the guy likes you and is trying to woo you away from your boyfriend. He is making far too many overtures for it to be much of anything else. He is hoping to gently drag you away from your boyfriend.

I realize this is a tricky situation to be in. He sounds nice enough. However, you have a boyfriend and your loyalty should be to him. If you have someone in your life - whether it's male or female - who is actively trying to get you two to break up, that's not good.

What if you heard that someone in your boyfriend's life was continually trying to get him to leave you? You probably wouldn't be too happy about that.

I would put some distance into the relationship with this pursuing guy. Maybe he will find someone else in the meantime and stop his comments. You need to make sure your primary focus is on the guy you have made the commitment to.


-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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