I hurt his ego, I think
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I dated him for 2 months and half, we mostly went out on Wed and Sat nights and had ton of fun until midnights talking even without sex, we got along so well and in is so many ways and think alike on most things, we fit in like a puzzle but he got serious 3 weeks into our acquaintance and I put my guard up even I never left, he cared too much too soon with gift/Roses and didn't mind to spend money on me... then one day I said to him that I needed 1 or 2 minutes phone calls during week days to get mentally connected ( we rarely talked in the week days) and I should be more diplomatic when I said " I don't feel the butterfly in my stomach" and he went on and on that he felt it too on the last time we got together ( the reason I wasn't that affectionate because he got some dental hygiene and that put me off some time during our acquaintance but I didn't know how to address him), that he felt pressured and maybe just the way he is, he maybe not ready, maybe he can't make me happy and he wants me to be happy, that he has 3 life AND he stomped out and asked for a break right on the phone. I had no choice but accepted, we still exchanged 2 or 3 normal emails " hi babe, how are you doing?" type here and there without seeing each other, I waited for a month and a week and felt he is drifting apart and I sent him Beyonce song " Halo" to let him know that is the way I feel and demanded an answer and he sent me an email to end things with me and wish to stay friends and he wants to be there for me if I need his help, he admitted that we get along so well and think alike on most things but he said after a month break to put a lot of thoughts/soul searching into our relationship he said he wants his "forever women" is someone who is *very easy going/ uncomplicated/not so demanding", if we got along sooo well then where the hell that statement came from huh?, anyway, I agreed with the split up, asked for some space and stopped all contact all together. It's been over a month, he hasn't contacted me either
I guess I hurt his ego and his heart when he put a lot of efforts/money/energy to see/please me. MAYBE the deep down reason was that he felt insecure or fear of rejecting and got mad that I didn't go with his speed and I didn’t appreciate his efforts and not admire him enough to be happy, that I didn't have feelings for him and that could destroy him.
I think there is no third party involved since we had so much fun together and he is too busy to have more free time ( he is a Realtor) and we were always on Saturday nights date
He probably knows how I feel now but didn't want to be with me any more, I want to show him that I want him and I don't take him for granted(I do appreciate him in my own way by be truthful to him, honesty) but I don't know how from this point:-(
What should I do/say to get him back?. We both 50
Thank you very much
You bruised his ego and now he doesn't trust you. All you can do is let him know that you would like to try again then wait. I think a nice email telling him that you enjoy his company, that you have so much in common and that you miss him terribly would be a start. You'll have to let him decide if he wants you back in his life. Be patient and let him have time to decide what he wants. If you don't hear from him then it may be time for you to move on and find someone else.
-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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