My current boyfriend and my ex

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I had been with my ex for 5yrs I now have a boyfriend I been with for 8 months. Thing is while I was with my ex(5yrs) I cheated on him with my current boyfriend. None of them knew I was being unfaithful, point is now that I'm with my current boyfriend I haven't still let go of my ex. I still talk and have actually slept with him and I feel so jealous just thinking he's with another girl (which he's not) but just the thought of it really gets to me. Now I confessed to my boyfriend I had cheated on him ONE TIME ONLY he forgave me but I just can't let go of my ex! HELP!!!!! Advice
Your boyfriend sounds like a very nice fella. I think the best thing for you is to get a handle on your feelings for the ex. It's not fair to your current man to be obsessing over someone else. How will you feel if you lose him? It's always a good idea to take a step back and realize you have something good right in front of you. :)

That said, I know it's hard to get over a previous long-term relationship. Maybe being friendly with him is a bad idea, since it allows you to carry a torch. I'd try to pull yourself back from too much involvement with your ex, even if it seems fun, friendly and light. Stop torturing yourself!

Do more fun things with your current boyfriend, or hang out more with other people. Distract yourself with hobbies or sports. Remember that you might still *want* to be with the old flame, but it's not healthy for you to head down this road when dating someone else.

Either that, or come clean with everyone by ending things cleanly with the new guy and honestly pursuing the old one.

Think this all through very carefully, before anyone gets hurt. Good luck!

-- from Jill
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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