He Doesn't Love Me Anymore
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend of about 4 months and I just recently broke up. We had been off a bit because it was summer and we never really saw each other even though we live in the same town. But he was making time for other people, and claimed to have no time for me. When we talked about it, he said he didn't love me anymore. I was more upset than I ever have been about anything. The next day I felt achy and sad, but it seemed to improve over the next few days and I felt good and totally back to normal. Then all of a sudden I started crying again, and now every little thing reminds me of him, and I just want to start breaking down.
I'm 16, he was my first kiss, my first love, and my first heartbreak. And I even lost my virginity to him. But I was OK with all of that because I was definitely in love with him. But it really hurts me that he just kind of stopped loving me, and it makes it worse that up till the night me broke up he would still tell me he loved me. And I just can't turn it off like that, because I still love him and I'm still in pain over this. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore because all I want is him, and I know he doesn't want me. I don't even think I can rebound because even thinking about another guy makes me sad.
All my friends say it will get better after a while, but none of them have been through a breakup with someone they loved. Either they are still with their guy, or they never loved him. I feel totally lost, and I don't see this getting better anytime soon. I have to see my ex in less than a month, and I don't know if I can handle it. I feel like the next time I see him my heart is just going to break all over again. What am I supposed to do with myself?
RomanceClass.com Advice
Most people don't forget their first love and especially when it includes sex. This is probably why you can't get him out of your mind...because he was the first.
One thing that will help you get over him is that you only went with him for four months and you only recently broke up. Put yourself into other activities so you can distract yourself from the romance. Go places with your friends, like movies, the beach, concerts, walks, sleepovers, etc.
This will solve itself, even though it doesn't seem so now. Whenever you feel good, remind yourself that you are getting over him. You will get over him, that is for sure. Most everyone goes through this at least once in their life and it works out in the end.
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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