long time friend, is there a chance for romance?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
ok, so I reviewed almost every page, but couldn't find something that helped me enough. So sorry it's gonna be kind of long.
I have been friends with this guys since we were around 15...we are now 26. I have been best friends with him forever and we have gone on several, dates through the years and we have always been each other's 'last minute' dates, but we have never actually dated. We have never held hands or kissed, but come close several times. We have that kind of relationship and chemistry that people ask if we're dating. My family wants us to get married, his family wants us to get married. (our families are good friends) We've just never been in a place that seems right for a relationship. I've been dating someone, or living across the country, or out of the country. Same with him. He was engaged at one point, but he told me he compared her (and every girl) to me. He broke off the engagement not to much later.
So here is the question....he gives such mixed signals. I don't have a problem with asking guys out, or just being bluntly honest, but I feel like I need something to go on...not just a hunch. Other people have asked him if he is interested in me (not at my request...for their own curiosity) and he has said no. Bluntly I think he's lying...but if he is going to lie to someone else, I can't imagine he'll tell me the truth. He flirts with me shamelessly, glances in my direction, touches me, all the obvious signs one night and then takes another girl on a date the next night. Sometimes he shows such high interest and other times none at all. Sometimes he'll even flirt with other girls right in front of me. He has told me several times I'm his best friend and I can't tell if he's giving me a hint that he just wants to be friends, or if he's just trying to keep things safe.
I would normally just put myself out there, but I've been with some guys lately that haven't been honest, not to mention a really, really bad break-up a few years ago that left me kind of scared. I have no clue how much I like him, because I am always so confused that I think I have kept my feelings on the downlow. I don't know what to do, but I feel like something needs to happen, for my sanity. I just don't know if I can put myself out there again.
RomanceClass.com Advice
He probably has the exact same confused feelings himself... after all you are so close you pick up on how the other feels and naturally respond the same.
After 11 years, you should be on close enough terms to discuss this openly. Why should both of you suffer in confusion.
Just ask him. Or better yet, decide how you feel and tell him. How would you feel if he grabbed you and gave you a big, warm kiss? That should tell you something about how you feel.
If you don't know how you feel, naturally he will be confused too.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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