Stages of a Relationship:
Talk About It:
Heīs Going to College



People change a *whole* lot when they go to college, because for the first time they are on their own, making their own decisions, living their own lives. There is a ton of experimentation as they figure out exactly what they like and donīt like about life. Thereīs a general atmosphere of "Letīs give this a try" which makes a committed relationship really hard to manage, especially if the person youīre committed to is far away.

Usually itīs the guy who goes off to college, leaving the girl behind. Also, usually the guy wants to be non-exclusive when this happens. The boyfriend is looking at college as a time to explore his possibilities, and he doesnīt want to be tied down to any one person. Itīs tough for you, because it sounds like youīre still in high school and therefore still wanting to have that serious relationship with him.

A committed relationship needs two committed individuals. If heīs against being exclusive, then even if you "force" (or convince) him to say heīll be true to you, that because he really doesnīt want to that heīd be likely to slip up once he got into that college environment, and that would hurt you immensely.

I know itīs really hard when you love and care for someone, and have dedicated a ton of time to that person, but thereīs the old adage about īif you love something, set it freeī. If he goes to college and realizes how special you are, he wonīt end up with other people and will come back to you. If he ends up turning into a Frat Boy and hanging around with other women, then he probably wasnīt what you were hoping for in the first place ... itīs easy for men to be true and committed when in high school, when they are built-in rules. Itīs much harder when theyīre in college and there are almost no rules ...

This is really rough for the woman, but remember that just about every female on the planet has gone through this, since we tend to date older guys. Youīre definitely not alone, you are living a very common experience.

Talk About It > Stages of a Relationship > Romantic Tips


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