Can't forgive myself for cheating on him

I cheated on my husband, by having an emotional (not physical) affair with an old acquaintance. It didn,t last long, we sent each other texts and emails. But, because my husband and I were so very close, he immediately noticed the change in my behavior and found me out. It was the most awful day in my life. Seeing the hurt and pain I,ve caused, just so that I could boost my own ego. I wasn,t really attracted to this old acquaintance, it was more what he said that pleased me. Even though it was never physical, the damage was the same. And it wasn,t worth it. Two years later, I still can,t forgive myself. My husband and I,ve moved passed it, and are still working hard on our marriage. Sometimes, the past comes back to haunt us, but I think the main thing is: I can,t imagine him forgiving me, because I can,t get over it, I am so disappointed in myself, still. I know I,ve hurt him, but he,s an amazing man, strong and reliable. And he says he,s forgiven me, but I just can,t seem to forgive myself. Don,t ever think an email or a text is "innocent". If you,re not willing to show your other half that text or email, then, it,s not so innocent after all, and steer clear!





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