Determine the Real Goals

When you argue, sometimes you grab onto small īindicatorsī of what the problem is instead of looking at what really bothers you. Arguing over those indicators really get you nowhere, because the root of the problem isnīt being addressed.

Take the time to discuss what about the situation is really in contention. You might find that a solution completely separate from the argument meets both of your needs, once you step back and really examine it. For example, if heīs always playing computer games and sheīs complaining about it, maybe both are looking for more fun in their lives. If they find something fun they *both* like doing, itīs a win-win.