Time will never heal a scar completely..
Just recently, I realised the man whom I had been in a serious relationship for 3 years was a lying cheating whore. We were planning to get married maybe another 2 years down the road till my group of close friends woke me up. He was in a serious relationship with this other lady for 6 years and was planning to propose to her family this early June. He also hooked up with another lady from his work place for at least a month.
I did something that I never thought I would ever do.. was to find proof to shut him on his stupid lies. I managed to get all the ladies to confront him, and through this confrontation, he lost his job. He "broke down" and seemed greatly shaken by this incident ( he was a great actor ).
The interesting twist was the 6 years lady took him back and he asked me to give him 2 months to fix his life up. I decided to play along to see what he was up to and I knew his guard was up.. However, he had no idea how resourceful a broken hearted woman could be.. Through this I realised something about myself..
I couldnt forgive him for giving me hope on marriage.
I couldnt forgive him for making me the 3rd party for the longest time.
I couldnt forgive him for using his family (especially his down syndrome brother) against me on days that he couldnt meet up with me and made me sound like I was the most demanding woman he ever met because he was with her.
I couldnt forgive him for telling each of us that we were the one and only true love.
However, I know I have to eventually as "what's goes around comes around".. there will be a day where I'll need someone to forgive me on whatever grieve mistake I make. I just cant do it right now..
I know I deserve better but I cant help hoping he has learnt his lesson and is serious on the changes. I love him so much that I think I have lost my sanity.
Unfortunately from what I read on this site, a cheater will always be a cheater.. He will lie to cover his ass again.. However, I will be prepared this time round if he decides to come push me around.. It wont be just losing his career, the respect from his friends & colleagues this time round..