Cheating and Lying :
Rebuilding Damaged Trust :
The Cracked Pot

A lament some have after a betrayal of trust is that "things can never be the same again." And that's true - but only in the same way that a 15 year old girl can never be an 8 year old girl again. It's TRUE but it's not necessarily BAD. Things could not have been very healthy to start with, if one of you felt it was OK or appropriate to lie to the other. So this can be a great opportunity to make the relationship much BETTER in the future.

A great analogy is a cracked pot. In Japan, a brand new pot was thought of as nice, but not as special. It was a pot just like thousands of other pots created by someone, nothing unique showed about what it was.

But if the pot is dented or cracked or scraped, those all showed that this pot was being USEFUL and not just in a dusty warehouse somewhere. Sure, it got a bit damaged! Life is like that, it has hard knocks that we all go through. That's a normal part of life. But you take out some glue, you stick things back together, and who knows, that glue could make the pot even stronger than before. And now when you look at the pot, it's not just "any pot". It is a pot that has survived an event, that strongly held its ground, and is now a survivor, a special pot.


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