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#413568 - 04/09/11 09:32 PM Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop  
Joined: Apr 2011
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pharrigan210 Offline
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pharrigan210  Offline
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-Ongoing flirtacious relationship with a girl from work - about a year.
-i was very cautious. very hesitant to escalate for work reasons, were in the same dept. a turn down could make things awkward.
-i finally got some courage and escalated - at least i felt like i did.
-in an email i jokingly asked to if she "wanted to come with me" to a weekend trip i was going on.
-i knew there was no way she could say yes to this particular event.
-my hope was that she would say "no, but . . . maybe some other time"
-i didnt get that response
-since then she has been friendly, but the flirtiness has gone away.

questions:
-do most women see through this joking around way of asking her out?
-does she know what i was getting at?
-does she just think i was joking around?
-is she oblivious to my intent or on some level is she thinking "hmmmm - did he just ask me out?"

why am i being so cowardly? why aren't i being direct? too much to lose! with work and all. very nervous about being inappropriate and very nervous that a turn down could make things awkward at work. if she turns me down this way, i could always fall back on "i was joking." do most women know that its really not a joke????

#413569 - 04/09/11 11:51 PM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
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Kimberly1985 Offline
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Kimberly1985  Offline
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I'm guessing that it all depends on exactly how you worded it in the email and what exactly she said or didn't say back.

I'm not sure I would think it was a joke if a guy that I work with asked me to go on a weekend trip with him.

How long since you sent the email?


#413574 - 04/10/11 02:06 AM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
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zonufanchun Offline
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zonufanchun  Offline
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I would say a woman have an extra senses.....to know whether you really mean it or not......:)

#413601 - 04/10/11 10:34 PM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
Joined: Dec 2004
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PDM Offline
PDM  Offline


True Blue Soulmate

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Posts: 22,697
UK
Hi pharrigan210 smile

If I were single, and a friendly male colleague suddenly asked me to go away with him for the weekend ~ by e-mail ~ I would feel really confused and bewildered. I wouldn't see it as a joke. I would feel awkward about future conversations with him.

Perhaps you should actually talk to her face to face ~ and maybe apologise for sending an inappropriate e-mail message???


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
#420000 - 11/09/11 03:27 PM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
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bdalton Offline
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bdalton  Offline
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Well, you probably came too close to the comfort zone that is why going to the next step felt uncomfortable for her. I mean, you probably are thinking that this could go on forever but flirting with somebody leaves not much to desire as you are just doing it as if you were playing. Just something to keep the machine running and lubricated. You really are bound by nothing that is why it is a little hard to work with that.

#420039 - 11/11/11 09:16 PM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
Joined: Jul 2008
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jilly Offline
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beneath the rim of the Colorad...
I agree; that probably edged on her comfort zone. Things in emails can be taken in ways that we'd never have guessed.


Jilly

#422384 - 02/12/12 04:23 PM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
Joined: Feb 2012
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aiden Offline
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aiden  Offline
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usa
u r with her from one year and u don't anything about her that what she like and what kind of girl she is.........
dude .....first check urself that u really like her because if u like her then try to know her and everything about her past and present .
please don't do such foolish activities to ask her for outing without knowing her personality.

#424715 - 12/06/12 08:38 AM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
Joined: Dec 2012
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Jackbruce Offline
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Jackbruce  Offline
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You really made a wonderful topic.


Last edited by Lisa Shea; 12/14/12 03:53 AM.
#424744 - 12/17/12 08:19 AM Re: Ongoing Flirting, Then A Sudden Stop [Re: pharrigan210]  
Joined: Oct 2004
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Lisa Shea Online content
Lisa Shea  Online Content


Gold Star Soulmate

Joined: Oct 2004
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US
Definitely the step taken was far too large, to go from flirting to asking someone to go for an entire weekend. I would always go with small steps - maybe saying you're going out for a drink after work and would she like to come along. Take small steps.


Lisa Shea, Owner

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