Moving and STRESS

Posted by: jilly

Moving and STRESS - 02/17/10 02:34 AM

I move a lot. Not because I want to. For some reason my husband needs to move every 6-8 months and it drives me insane. All the packing, unpacking, finding new homes for things, organizing and coming up with places to put everything. Decluttering over and over! Yikes. smile

What do other people think about moving? Do you have any tricks to make it less stressful? Does anyone else hate moving?
Posted by: BLR

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/17/10 03:49 AM

For several years we moved several times. If you move that often you might consider packing up your not used or needed items and don't unpack those boxes. Pack "needed every day" items to be unpacked and will have a place every place you move.

Quit trying to reorganize every time you move, just do it once.

I actually didn't mind moving that much, mainly because for several years I knew we would be moving again.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/27/10 10:12 PM

BRL, your words are wise. My problem is that each time Dan has said, this will be the last time." I kept believing him. Now I know better! I am moving into the RV so I won't have to move my stuff again - it will all be with me, everywhere I am.

The stuff that is in CA storage, we will work on eliminating this spring. What remains will go with us to family land he has out in OK where we will build a two story shed with a guest house on the to floor that dan can use as an office/extra bedroom for when I am out traveling in the RV. I think and hope it's the final solution. I can't do this again!
Posted by: PartlyCloudy

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/07/10 12:56 AM

I've moved several times and absolutely hate it. I swore I wanted to retire in this house but hubby is making noises about moving to a warmer climate. Each time we've moved it's been for a good reason that we've agreed on, and I can't hold it against him that he's not happy in this cold climate (I love it), but I'm REALLY tired of not being settled.

I'm not sure there is an easier way to move once you've mastered the basics. You can fine tune it up to a certain point, but it doesn't change the stressful parts of packing up at the last minute your last-minute things, trying to stay somewhat organized so you sort of know what's in those boxes, etc.

At least my collections of useless junk have vanished, and I'm much more careful about buying stuff these days.

Do you scout for boxes out of habit everywhere you go whether you're in moving mode or not? I do!
Posted by: 428pm

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/07/10 06:28 AM

I've never lived anywhere for more than 2 years my entire life...Moving is just a part of life for me.

I dont mind it, I dont have a lot of stuff. I have a stack of rubber maid bins I keep in my storage closet since I move so much.

I just pack everything in there, and I hire movers to chuck it to the new place.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/07/10 11:35 PM

Glad I am not the only one who hates moving!

428pm it sounds like you have a system down pat. I've never used movers - i bet that takes a lot of stress off.

Yeah, partlycloudy, I am all about boxes and bins for moving. It's like i see the world through a box lens sometimes!

We pretty much ARE DONE with the stuff in the house - just loaded bins waiting to get dragged to our CA storage. Once we are in CA, a new source of stress will set in as we attempt to downsize to a smaller, cheaper rental unit. I am hoping I can consign a large chunk of the stuff to stores in the area.

But that is a few weeks away and I am not going to worry about it just now.

A big concern is what to do with our extra car. I need to bring it to my friend in Flagstaff and just leave it in the street, or drive it to my parents' in San Diego and then somehow get back here.

I have a week and half to think about this small conundrum. smile
Posted by: 428pm

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/07/10 11:56 PM

It's worth the xtra dough for the movers wink Takes ALL the stress off...Just makes sure you are there to get them in and out, get them bottles of water and snacks (they tend to be more careful if you are more thoughtful) and than stay out of the way. I take the animals and only worry about that.
Posted by: illusive Fantasy

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/08/10 01:10 AM

rent a small U-Haul with trailer hitch to drive the car out then come back..or drive the car out and take a train back
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/08/10 08:25 AM

Illusive, maybe that would be fun, with the train idea. I can look into that.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/16/10 07:07 AM

I realized that the move was in 5 days and freaked again. I still have so much to do here yet. Dan suggested we move the moving date back again.

I wonder how long we will be able to keep doing this? We don't actually have to be anywhere by a certain time until May. But living in the driveway here is a bit odd, too.

428pm, that sounds SO MUCH easier with only worrying about yourself and your animals. I feel more relaxed just thinking about that. With our situation and the RV it's not feasible, since all the extra stuff we can just carry in the RV til we reach our storage shed in CA.

We are thinking about a tow dolly for my car and just to drive Dan's to my parents' in San Diego for while we drive up the coast.

Anyway, I am mildly amused by the idea that we can just keep squatting here in this driveway forever.
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Moving and STRESS - 03/27/10 05:40 AM

You take all the time you need. Don't worry about it feeling odd. You had planned to be settled here for a while and had the rug yanked out from beneath you. Give yourself time to get set up, and you'll know when you are ready.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 06/01/10 04:44 AM

I cannot wait to not be moving any more. I sooo look forward to actually knowing where a thing is, to having an address that does not change, and being able to create a space that is totally perfect for only me.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 08/16/10 01:56 AM

I am amused re-reading this thread. Just a short three months later and my world is finally starting to stop spinning. I have my own land here in a town I enjoy. I can park here as long as I want to and slowly fix up the old buildings associated with it. Dan can run around the nation all he likes and it won't affect me.

At some point I need to take care of the CA storage - that is a big expense that is unnecessary. The thought of going out there and dealing with all that stuff has me scared. I am still putting it all off. It will feel great to someday have that done.

In the meantime I am still finding my way. I have a week to find a new doctor (my meds are about to run out). And I am so far behind in some of my work that i can't imagine even catching up. I am trying to take things very slowly.

I did manage to get a mailbox and my address listed in the national register. I have rain barrels set up to capture the monsoon rains and lower my water bills. The kittens are now at a foster home where they will be adopted out. I have a ladder to get up to the top of my RV so i can see the views in 360 degrees. I am working on mulching and composting the land, and now have some patio furniture that looks pretty. I have a car that runs!

It's been an incredibly stressful, uncertain year. I feel so thankful for the friends online and off that have helped soothe me. My parents have been a constant support. And I am very lucky that my husband is on board with this idea. I am really hopeful that I will find some sanity and peace.

Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 10/12/10 03:19 AM

I found a doctor to go with now. It's not the dr i will end up using long term but i needed one right here and now. So she will do until i can fond someone closer. She is only $55 a visit with no insurance. SO that is a good start and I now have access to my meds.

I am also getting closer in my work life. Most of my things are actually caught up now, which makes me feel deeply happy.

And I am almost obsessed with fixing up my home in as green a way as possible. The research and shopping for this has been fun.
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Moving and STRESS - 10/21/10 06:59 AM

Jilly it is SO awesome that you have made such amazing progress in such a short period of time. To think that you went from utter unhappy chaos to having the situation of your dreams!

Now you can make a super-cool green home and be an inspiration to us all!
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 12/07/10 08:33 PM

Sad news: i am starting to seriously doubt i made the right decision in settling in this town.

Not sure where to go mentally with this one.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/20/11 04:04 AM

Things are improving here for me - it does feel like home here now. I am about to spend two months in LA and wonder if I will miss it here.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 04/19/11 11:33 PM

Just an update - I am loving LA. I had no ideas there were so many lovely places to hike and explore. Shows what i thought I knew about Los Angeles. So much wildlife and hidden nooks and crannies, once you really start to research an area!
Posted by: PDM

Re: Moving and STRESS - 04/20/11 01:01 AM

Glad things are going well for you smile
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 04/20/11 01:20 AM

Thank you! This really worked out well - Redondo beach is quiet and charming and the Palos Verdes Penninsula has outstanding recreation. You have no sense of being in the center of one of the world's largest metro areas. It feels like how So Cal might have been a few hundred years ago.

I have recently learned that DH will be here through August, so i feel better about that too. That means i can come and go to AZ and not have to go crazy missing Dan (who will be close enough to drive to). having him living in Washington was hard enough - I am not looking forward to him moving to Oklahoma.

I do miss my actual home in AZ. I think I will go back there for May and June.
Posted by: PDM

Re: Moving and STRESS - 04/20/11 01:49 AM

I just found Redondo beach and Palos Verdes on Google maps smile
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 04/20/11 02:08 AM

The Palos Verdes area is really magnificent. Cliffs are actively unstable and sliding into the sea, so building here is pretty much at a halt. So much of the area is now being held as preserves and conservancies. There are secret coves, a shipwreck, two historic lighthouses, tidepools, wild canyons and outrageous ocean views. And whales going by!

I had no idea this was here. You'd think as a so cal local i would have hear of it. I am glad to explore it now.
Posted by: PDM

Re: Moving and STRESS - 04/21/11 03:27 AM

Sounds amazing smile
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Moving and STRESS - 01/27/12 02:49 AM

Now that you are not moving any more, are you finding less stress in your world?
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/03/12 02:06 AM

Yes a ton less stress. Less times I need to sit on the floor under my desk to soothe myself!

I am still not being good to my boundaries though.

I am still freaking out over giving my inner space and serenity away. I know i can do better with this and plan better!
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/04/12 01:32 AM

Dear Jilly -

Every day provides a new opportunity to build skills and to grow!
Posted by: illusive Fantasy

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/04/12 02:27 AM

those are wonderful places to explore and just lose all that binds you and know some serenity...hope you get to enjoy some of those places soon jilly
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/04/12 03:04 AM

Thank you for those nice thoughts, Illusive and Lisa!
Posted by: illusive Fantasy

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/04/12 05:48 AM

well you go girl dont just make it nice thougths make it a nice experience too...or here is a "thought" a way to do a meditation...picture yourself there already... yah sounds like a plan to me laugh
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/04/12 07:34 AM

Jilly -

It is great that you think of serenity that is within you and that you control. You are exactly right that it is something that you choose to give away or to not give away! Nobody else can take it from you.

I realize of course it can be very challenging to hold on to serenity when life buffets you smile But it is a wonderful skill to practice daily, to build and nurture your serenity. One way to think of it is a glowing sphere within you. It's safe there.

It can also be challenging to maintain serenity when the body is stressed with not enough sleep or healthy food or gentle exercise, so it's great that you're nurturing yourself in those areas!
Posted by: illusive Fantasy

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/04/12 09:12 AM

sleep??? did someone say sleep???? i was suffering for two years without sleep finally the doctor figured prescribed some barbituate which normally would not make me nuts about taking fact it still doesnt and im only doing half doses...but he has started me at gettings some sleep finally...i just have to learn to get to bed at a decent hour ...

it got so bad i at times couldnt talk id laugh because id notice it and couldnt do a dern thing about it.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Moving and STRESS - 02/05/12 07:44 PM

Thanks, guys. This entire weekend for me is about not stressing. I refuse to do anything important. I have actually planned this on my calendar. yesterday went well. smile

So my take home from this is that i can look ahead on my calendar for when i have stressy stuff going on, and plan the next few days to deliberately be low key.