I recently broke up with my ex. I am having an extremely hard time with it. I have hope that we will rekindle our love some day sooner or later. The reason we broke up is somewhat circumstantial. We are just so different and our communication methods are so different that we were making each other miserable. She is very down to earth and seeks personal atonement and I am very worldly and out there. We love each other so very much though and I know in my heart that she could be the only one for me. My question is this...are our differences non-reconcilable? I am willing to fight for her and sacrifice...I want to grow old with her.

Well, you have the desire. Now you just have to put that into action. Only she and you can discover if the differences can be worked out. If your methods are different, maybe you can compromise by both of you trying a new way. The two of you think of couples that you admire. How do they communicate, and what do you like about how they treat each other. Talk about this. The more you talk, and listen, and work at compromise, the more likely the love rekindles and stays aflame.

Welcome Ramazea8730I

I agree with Carl.

They say that love conquers all, but for some couples it just seems too hard.

I'm not really sure what you mean by this:


The fact that you found each other and love each other must mean that you have something in common, I would have thought.

My husband and I are very different, in many ways, but we have been very happily together for over 30 years.

Find common ground.
Be willing to compromise.


What do you think?
What does she think?
Only you two can answer this question.


Well, there is part of your answer.
But what about your ex?
Does she feel the same way?

Have either of you been willing to sacrifice anything for the relationship before?

In what ways are your communication methods different?
The brains of males and females do work differently.

Once again I am finding myself recommending the Gray and the Pease books.
They should be in the library and they will help to explain the differences ~ and how those differences can be coped with.

http://home.marsvenus.com/
http://www.peaseinternational.com/shopexd.asp?id=35

Good luck!

From my experiences, I've noticed many things about relationships, they're all give and take, but sometimes, we (as males) tend to take more than we give; we become complacent and sometimes it is the biggest mistake we make.

Ok for starters, you've acknowledged the faults. You both have different ways of communication and are generally different in personality.

This is not uncommon at all, in fact, this happens more often than the latter; but, it works along side many opportunities of compromise and communication.

Now I have a few questions myself.

1) How exactly are you two different when it comes to communication?

2) How is she how you describe her, contrary to yourself? For instance, how is she down to Earth, and how are you "out there?"

3) What happened between you two to result in the end of your relationship? (If its alright with you to say that is, if not then don't worry.)

Now, you asked if your differences may be non-reconcilable; unless you/her did something to the other that reflects such action, then there shouldn't be anything that can't be reconciled. The want to reconcile is a good start.

Now... from the information you've given, I assume that communication between the two of you is possibly very lacking. As PDM said, find some common ground and rebuild from there. Any problem on your part can be fixed by changing your angle.

Also... by your post title, I can tell you have doubts. Why?

If you're ready to fight for her, you'll have to step up to the plate. Go through all the faults and analyze what went wrong, and change it slowly but surely. Remember, you said you are willing to sacrifice. Sometimes, you have to sacrifice more than time and effort... you'll have to sacrifice your old ways of thinking. Remember my first paragraph, this is what I mean.

Good luck to you. Always fight the good fight.