Mixed signals

Posted by: KennyH

Mixed signals - 02/15/12 07:07 PM

I met a lady on a site kind of like facebook, and we hit it off right away. I flirted and joked with her and the chemistry was great from the start. We share the same sense of humor and have alot of other things in common as well. We exchanged numbers and started texting and after 2 weeks of talking we set up our first date. Things went even better in person, we laughed alot and made alot of eye contact and even held hands. When i dropped her off at her place we shared a nice long kiss goodnight. The following few days she was sort of distant and not joking as much so I asked her if something was bothering her, she said that right now she wants to be friends and see where it goes, so I backed off. She would text me good morning every day and we would have some small talk throughout the day and she would always tell me sweet dreams before bed. A few days went by and she mentioned that we should go to a town about 45 minutes away and get tattoos, I thought it was a good idea since I would get to see her again. She arranged a babysitter for the night because we both agreed to spend the night. We had a great time, alot of laughs and holding hands and flirting. We had a few drinks and were feeling pretty good. When we headed to our room, she said "I hope you're not expecting sex" and "I will sleep in the same bed with you, but we're not doing anything" I was kind've surprised, I didn't mention sex before and wasn't expecting anything. So we slept in the same bed and cuddled all night, If I moved my arm, she would grab it and pull it back over her and hold my hand while we slept. We checked out the following day and held hands the whole way home. When I dropped her off I helped carry her bags inside, before I left she came to me and gave me a big, long hug and laid her head on my chest, then looked up and gave me a kiss. This was on Sunday and it's been the same thing this week, she's been distant and no talk of seeing each other again. Am I out of the loop on "taking things slow" because it seems like when she is with me things are awesome. Am I missing something here?
Posted by: PDM

Re: Mixed signals - 02/17/12 10:05 PM

Hi Kenny ~ Welcome smile

It's difficult to know exactly what is going on here ~ but it isn't the first time that I have heard of such behaviour. Some people don't seem to know quite what they want~ and maybe she is one of them.

She seems to be enjoying the warmth of your relationship, but does not want to commit to it yet ~ which is understandable, really, because you have only known each other for a short time.

It's just that she seems to be sending mixed messages, which is leaving you feeling confused.

Perhaps you should ask her to talk to you about her feelings and then discuss the whole scenario, if possible. Open communication is usually beneficial.

Good luck smile
Posted by: aiden

Re: Mixed signals - 02/17/12 11:10 PM

hey....kenny ........
its a new affair so just give her time and try to find what she really want from u .please check urself too that u really wanna b with her or its just a new attraction which vanishes after sometime.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Mixed signals - 01/03/13 02:48 AM

I've been on both ends of this. I don't like doing it to others, but from when I have, it's because I was either ambivalent about the person in the first place, or I had other things going on that were distracting me from getting more involved.

It all boils down to that harsh saying, "s/he's not that into you." Which is always an ouch to hear. frown

I think a lot of relationships have more to do with timing than anything else.
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Mixed signals - 01/03/13 09:53 AM

I think too that sometimes it takes a while for a pair to "click". It takes a gentle wearing-in process. So I would hang in there and keep showing you're interested and offering fun things to do. I've heard so many stories where it's the tenacious person who ends up with the love of their life.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Mixed signals - 01/03/13 05:19 PM

Yes! Tenacity goes a long, long way. It is hard to resist someone really liking you.
Posted by: Lisa Shea

Re: Mixed signals - 01/18/13 08:25 PM

I know in my own life that when I was in a dating period, if one guy was attentive, he's the one I tended to think about. The guys who barely paid attention to me drifted out of my awareness fairly quickly.
Posted by: jilly

Re: Mixed signals - 02/09/13 03:24 PM

Maybe tenacity is one of those Big Life Secrets. As long as one's eggs aren't all in that basket.