Okay, so I've finally made it to that college stage in my life, and it's been great. I ended up meeting a very nice guy at a service project and since then have proceeded to get to know him well. I spend hours in his room, hanging out, watching tv, and playing video games occasionally. When I'm there it's usually with other people, but sometimes not. Often I make myself at home on his bed, and he only smiles. When we talk it's total eye contact and occasionally he catches me looking and we look for a while then look away. I've been touching him too, as in brushing my arm against his, leg against his and when I sit next to his chair I lean against it, occasionally leaning my head on his arm. Sometimes he pulls away, but often he does not move. I pat his back, and his arm, and occassionally his knee, but he rarely initiates in flirting that I can tell.

Often I initate the contact and he'll let it go, but he never touches me on his own except on the rare occasion. Is he just being shy or afraid I'll reject him?!

I don't understand, there are other flirting signs too, but he sometimes does the 'aniti-flirt' thing too! I really like this guy, and would like to have a relationship with him, but these mixed signals are confusing...How can I tell for sure if he likes me without asking outright?

Hello Lemons246
Welcome!

It's quite clear that this young man likes you, but is he attracted to you? ~ That's the big question.

You could leave it for a while longer and just see what happens, or you could ask him.

Ask him to go on a date.
Ask him where he feels your relationship is.

I know that this could be difficult ~ especially if it frightens him off.

Maybe he is shy.
Maybe he's a 'gentleman', who doesn't touch girls.
Maybe he just wants to be friends and doesn't want to hurt you, by rejecting you.

Are you going anywhere, soon, where you need a date, and you could ask him to go with you?

How long have you actually known him ~ not too long, presumably?
Are you both the same age?
Are you doing the same course?
How much time do you spend together at college?

Dear lemonz
I used to push with guys and all it got me was maybe sex and then rejection. Don't put yourself there! If he really likes you he will eventually make it clear. Don't ask a guy out! You have to let them pursue you at first. I used to have a big problem with this and someone made me read this book the rules which is very extreme but it made me back off a bit. Now I've got a good man who is handsome, a good worker and honest, and he takes me out and pays for dinner. Been through a lot of deadbeats. You are at a very powerful time in your life and have tons of options. Don't sell yourself short!

I ditto what Daniellero says. After all, its like my grandma used to say if you miss this bus another one always comes along.

If it is suppose to happen it will, every time we push to get what we want in life, it usually backfires.