I've known this girl for a little over a year now, whom I've been hanging out with a group of friends on a weekly basis. She just broke up with her ex in mid-Sept and she overcame quickly because there wasn't any deep affection, and the guy is only 27, while she is 34.

Since then, she started to wear makeup/do her hair/dress up nicely and became slimmer, which she never did. And when she found out that I was going back to school and my math sucks really bad, she offered to tutor me on Saturdays and even told me that she'd like to study with me together so she can also re-familiarize herself with it (she's an accountant). She became really interested in the things I share in discussions within our group. She has openly asked me to share my thoughts because she really wants to know, but rarely ask other guys. And even, openly said that she is very interested in what I have to share. She'd often peek at me but turn away when I catch her. She also complimented me several times in front of everyone and hinted that she wants me to host a party and cook up some of my specialties because she never tried them.

But...she rarely calls me, avoids commenting on my facebook page, laughs at the jokes other guys crack but mine. Because of these "signs" and plus I want to focus on my education so didn't give relationship a thought, I tend to avoid the chance for us to spend time alone. After a month or so, she kinda began to avoid me within our group - such as: doesn't come to me to talk, doesn't respond to my comments on her facebook page, and when she leaves a gathering, she doesn't say bye to me, just me. I still catch her peeking at me but that's it.

I admit, she is above-average looking without make up. But when she wears even the lightest makeup she really opens eyes and she really knows how to dress. She appears kinda shy. She is gentle, charming, friendly, compassionate, and generally nice. So yes, I have grown some feelings for her that are beyond normal friendship. I do however, wish that things are exactly the way they were before - just good friends that hang out together and enjoy the company of one another. But now it's not the same anymore and I'm lost, I don't know what to do anymore.

If anyone, could please shine some light here, I'd really appreciate it, thank you.

Hi Andrew ~ welcome

After breaking up with her boyfriend, this woman became quite friendly with you, but later started avoiding you.
This has all happened in the last few weeks.

I wonder why?

It's difficult to tell, when one isn't party to the situation, but it could be a number of things.

It could be that, after the break-up, she simply enjoyed getting (male) attention ~ hence the make-up etc.

It could be that she enjoys your company, but is not ready for another relationship, yet, and thinks that maybe you are ~ or, even, that she only wants friendship from you and worries that you might want something more.

It could be that she really likes you, but is a bit wary ~ or shy ~ about admitting it ~ possibly even to herself.

You say that she is 34 and, at 27, her ex was only 27. So do I take it that you are nearer to her age?


As you say, things have changed because your feelings have changed.

What to do?

Well, you could be honest with her ~
Tell her how much you have enjoyed her company, recently, and that you have become really fond of her, but that you have noticed a distance growing between you ~ and you would like to do something about that, by being honest and open with her about the situation.
Tell her that you would like to date her, if she were interested, but, if not, then, at least, that you would like to go back to being good friends, who are comfortable around each other, because you would not like to lose her from your life.

What do you think?

Good luck!

Thank you for the advice. We spoke today openly and the clouds have been cleared.

Basically, the distance grew cuz she felt that I was kind avoiding her but I expressed about how I really enjoyed her company and I liked the way things were and I wish for us to be close friends. She sounded very glad and we're now on the same page without misunderstandings.

Thanks again!!

Blessings~
Andrew

Glad it's worked out well

Quite very helpful advice for Andrew, thanks PDM your such a Dr. Love to me.