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Posted By: darkslove problems in my relationship - 11/12/08 04:28 AM
I been with boyfriend for almost two years now, we live together. And the past 6 months we have lived together ive felt distance from him, when i try to talk to him about it all he says hes. " im with you every single day of my life, i don't know how you can't feel close to me. And I looked at his text messages. ( yeah i know i shouldn't have looked but i did anyways)And his ex girlfriend said. " I miss you already. " And he replied back to her and said.. lol me too. What do I do? I feel lost. Could he be cheating on me? We don't make love anymore..Or even hardly talk..It's just fights, Everytime i try to make love to him, he pushes me off.. and says hes not in the mood..
Posted By: Carl Re: problems in my relationship - 11/12/08 04:41 AM
Could he? Yes. But even if he is not, is he there for you? Is that what you want?

I'd say you deserve better.
Posted By: Candy & Crushes Re: problems in my relationship - 11/26/08 06:56 PM
Move On Love! I personally think he's cheating on you, even though I am only a young teenager I can still see some type of signs that your relationship is going down the drain to its end.. Like Carl stated, "You Deserve BETTER!" He's obviously not committed or happy with you and so how can you be happy with no love being shared, only the bit that is coming from you..

Paps,
Candy & Crushes
Posted By: Anonymous Re: problems in my relationship - 11/26/08 07:03 PM
Yes, I also think he's cheating on you The mere fact that he doesn't want to make love anymore is an indicator that something is wrong. Think more of yourself and move on. You deserve better and the right person is out there for you. Don't stick around and be miserable.
Posted By: PDM Re: problems in my relationship - 11/26/08 08:02 PM
Hello darkslove
Welcome smile

There is obviously something wrong here.
After two years of living together as a couple, this deserves attention.

Whether he is cheating, missing his ex, or just finding that the relationship no longer suits him for some reason, he owes you an explanation. You deserve the truth, even if it is something you may not want to hear.

If he won't discuss it, thern perhaps you could write a note, explaining how you feel and why. You could show it to him and explain that you need to talk this whole thing over and ask him if he wants to work on your relationship, and perhaps go for relationship counselling ~ or if he feels that it is over.

You would need to make it clear that you need the truth, no matter how difficult it would be.

What do you think?
Would he react well to this?
Does he become angry?
Could it be that he has other worries on his mind and is feeling ill, worried, tired, or stressed?
That could explain the lack of love-making as much as his being interested in another woman.
But the texts do sound questionable, at least.

I hope that, between us, we can help you out a little! smile
Good luck! smile
Posted By: joandboys Re: problems in my relationship - 11/26/08 09:40 PM
The statement "I miss you already" is one you make when you have "just left someone's company". It isn't the kind of thing that is said when you hang up the phone. His reply is the answer to your question. If you are in a committed two year relationship and living together, he should not be spending time with his ex even if he is not sleeping with her. If he isn't sleeping with her now, it is only a matter of time, in my opinion.

Whether he is sleeping with her or spending time, he is cheating on you because you are unaware that anyone else is even in the picture, until now.

If he was going to be honest about things he would have sat down and discussed his feelings before he chose to wander.

I don't think discussing it with him will give you the truth but it might be worth a try.

However, I am assuming if you are living together you are doing the trustful things a couple do like mingle bills and finances and share cars etc.

I would make sure that I was not in a more vulnerable position than you already appear to be in. I know the emotional side is more important to you right now but there are some things you might consider.

If he is cheating he might not have felt it was convenient to tell you for many reasons.
He might not want to hurt you, in which case he should have talked to you long ago.

He might not be financially well off enough to leave.

If you confront him without making sure that any mingled accounts are secure or that you have transportation if you share a car, you might find yourself surprized by the outcome. Take care of your situation and be prepared that the outcome of such a confrontation may well reveal that you should part company only on your terms.

If he again denies any wrongdoing, I truly feel that you would be foolish to believe him and not make plans of your own. I realize this may sound crass and material but take it from someone who has been there. The pain is only made worse when you realize that not only did they leave you but they emptied the checking account, took the only car and walked off with the T.V.
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