Hi everyone! It's been ages since Ive been here. I lost all the information to my previous account, so I created a new one. Most of you would recognize me as "Raven" ^^ And just by the way, I'm a girl.

A lot of things have changed since Ive been here last. I've come to terms with my sexuality as being bisexual, which is cool because I get a lot of support from my friends and other adults outside of my family (because they would freak if they knew XD) and I've got a new boyfriend. I've also just recently gotten through my first year of univeristy.

Ok, now to two little issues that I have.

The first is about my boyfriend. We've known each other for 4yrs and have been dating for 9 months. We were both deflowered near 3 months ago, which I never would have dreamed to have happened (ps, I'm 18 now). I really do feel that I love him (which is a ver VERY rare thing for me to say) and that I can have a lasting relationship with him. However, we had a scare about a month ago when the condom broke and he rushed to acquire ECs for me. I've been thinking of going on the pill ever since we started having sex (always with condoms!! We've never had sex without one). My question is that will being on the pill affect my relationship with him at all? I don't really know what kinds of side effects to expect.

The second issue concerns a girl. On my campus, there is a 4th yr student (soon to be graduating) who is a photography major and is absolutely gorgeous. I had an immediate crush on her since I saw her in February and am still crushing on her. She has a girlfriend (she's gay) and I love my boyfriend to bit. But is this attraction normal? Ive never crushed on an older girl before. My boyfriend knows that I go completely gaga over her, but is that healthy? We'll often joke about my sexuality and comment on girls together... but isn't that weird?

I dunno ^^; Feeling lost

~Raven

Hi again Raven

I'll be brief, for now, because it's bedtime, but yes, it is normal, I think, to find someone else attractive, even if one is in a committed relationship.

Problems only start when someone acts upon the 'crush'.

So beware!

As for the pill, I understand that its long-term use may not be healthy. Check it out and ask your doctor or nurse for information and advice.

Perhaps you should get some stronger condoms

Hi ma'am PDM,

I really doubt that I'd act on my crush because 1) her girlfriend scares the hell out of me and 2) I have too much respect for her. Also, I will probably not be seeing her at all from next year onwards (which I'm dreading because I've grown very attached to her).

Yeah, I've looked at the long-term effects as well, but it doesn't really bother me. I mean, I've always wanted to adopt and I'm not changing my mind about it. However, I will make an appointment with a doctor or nurse to get a full assessment before buying any medication. I've always been rather paranoid and have been wanting to go on the pill for the past 4yrs, ever since my very first boyfriend tried to rape me.

And yes, definitely stronger condoms. We're staying faaaaaaaar away from the brand we used that broke. Pity that bought condoms have to be so expensive >.< It really makes protected sex a huge financial effort.

Also, I forgot to mention that my previous boyfriend keeps on asking me to go and have coffee with him sometime. Is that a good idea? My current boyfriend doesn't like the thought of it at all. I have nothing against my ex, but I don't want to go against my boyfriend either.

Hi Raven:)

Ask yourself how you would react if your current boyfriend wanted to go out for coffee with his ex.

I've been on the pill on and off (mostly on) since I was 18 and have never had any issues at all. I'm 42 now. As long as you don't smoke you should be fine, of course talk with your doctor about details.

For me, I would much rather be on the pill than to be worrying about condoms breaking or falling off or all the other things that happen with them.

i seem to remember another thread not so long ago about having friends of the opposite sex and some thought nothing of it when going out with those friends and your present significant other was not there...i think this is the same thing in a sense...

if your friends ...as the other thread mentioned you should be able to trust each other...at least thats what some others said...

but i also remember saying i was against that...