I have been in a relationship for about 5 months now and i have aquired several nick names? beautiful lady, beautiful princess, princess, sexy, fiancee' (unnoficial) oaky so his ex girl is "princess" a lady friend is "sexy".. so who am i? He says he gives a nick name to every female friend he has? But i just dont receive this as a sexy comment i feel generalized and un personal? Yes i have expressed this but it seems to be hard to acknowledge me by my first name...only once in 5 months have i heard it and whats up with the fiancee' thing is this a nick name too? i am not mad just confused

Hmm... sounds pretty demeaning towards women in general, and I can see why you'd be upset--I would, too, if I were called nothing but pet names, and I'd be downright livid if I were referred to as nothing but pet names.

However, I will admit that I have a hard time using my husband's name, and he's asked me about it before, too. My reasoning is that he has a very unusual name, and it just never sounds right to me when I say it. On top of that, he usually asks people to call him by a nickname, anyway (which changes with each person he meets,) so I never know how to refer to him when talking to others, and I generally settle with "my husband." When talking to him, I tend to not call him anything, but when I do, I'll generally go with "Love(r)," "Dear," and one or two other variances depending on the mood. ( with "dear" being kind of... sardonic.)


....I'd wager that isn't the case for this guy, though.


I have heard of guys who use nicknames as a way to... not have to bother remember any of their female "friends'" real names.

Hi, welcome lostnoz

I too would feel uncomfortable if my partner referred to me by a general nick-name ~ not even a specific one for me.

To say that 'he gives a nick name to every female friend he has', just implies that any girl is just a girl to him, without any real personal meaning involved.

How real and strong is this relationship from his point of view!?
I think that you need to find out.

Good luck!

Have you tried not using his name? I have been married for 20 years and noticed while my husband and I were still dating that he rarely used my name, not even a pet name. This continued after we were married I didn't say anything for a long time and then on occasion - maybe once or twice a year- he'd pop out with my name and it actually startled me!! I decided a few years ago that I wouldn't use his name at all to see if I got any reaction. Instead of "Hey Kevin", it was just "Hey", and so on and so forth. After about a week, he was the one who was looking startled...and started using my name as well as nicknames. Give him a dose of his own medicine and let him know how it feels.

It does seem rather demoralizing to women in general to refer to them with pet names only, tho.

hrmph--am i the only one who is upset at the actual nicknames he's giving to other women? sexy? his ex is princess? what?? ok--i agree with everyone on how demoralizing it is, but on top of that, it seems it should raise a red flag--he refers to every woman by these so-called pet names, and you'd think, as his significant other, that he'd at least treat you differently and call you by your real name. hmmm--i no likey. how does he treat you otherwise?

that's what I meant by "he sounds pretty demeaning towards women in general"

And me when I said ~ "To say that 'he gives a nick name to every female friend he has', just implies that any girl is just a girl to him, without any real personal meaning involved" etc.

"Have you tried not using his name?" ~ Sounds l;ike a good idea, ntiggr2. Welcome!