k so I like this girl. We've been going to school with eachother for 3 years now and this is the 3rd year. I've had 2 people I've liked over the 3 years and I succefully asked one out and they said yes. But it didn't work out so well. The other person I like I just lost interest in her after I realized she wasn't the kind of person I thought she was. Now the person I like I genuinly like her. I think she is funny, smart, friendly, and she can put a smile on my face without even trying to. We are in the same grade by the way and we are in 8th grade. My parents dont really know about my personal life and I prefer to keep it that way. (from past experiences the teasing about me having a girlfriend became unbearable from my parents). So now my goal is to be able to start a relationship and let her know that I like her without having to let my parents know when I take her out on a date or something. My parents dont let me out of the house at all unless an adult is with me that they trust. Does anyone have any tips on how to date a girl and keep the relationship unknown from parents. I'm in a tight situation and I just dont want to let this girl slip away.

Hi,

Well, I'm not fully au fait with the American school system, so I'm not sure how old you are, but I think it's probably about 14.

Whenever I reply to people asking about dating, who are around your age, I tend to say that whatever you do should be with parental knowledge and approval. It was what I was going to say this time, until I realised what your question actually was.

Don't get me wrong; I can fully understand your feelings on wanting your relationships to be private and not wanting to be teased, but, when it comes down to it, you are their child and they are your parents.

Many kids are not allowed to date until they are 16.

So, what to do? I cannot give you advice on how to deceive your parents ~ I have a 13 year old daughter and I wouldn't want her to deceive me.

But why not just keep it friendly for now ~ go out in a group; bowling or swimming or something like that.

If you are actually hoping to be boyfriend and girlfriend and to go out on dates, then I think your parents need to know. Both sets of parents need to know where you are and who you are with ~ for your own safety as much as anything.

I suggest, though, that when you tell them, you do so without getting embarrassed yourself ~ that may be what causes the teasing. They may even feel a bit awkward about it, themselves ~ their little lad dating already.

Another connected reason is that parents worry about their kids becoming sexually active and that can often cause much worry & some embarrassment ~ teasing can help them to try to sort out and defuse the situation. Kids do become sexually active quite young these days, but it is not a good idfea at all, for various reasons. Reassure them.

Anyway, in my parents' day & before, 14 year olds went to work ~ maybe mining down the pit. Some went to war. Thay had to be young men, so, if you want your parents to respect you as a young man, rather than tease you as a little kid, make sure that you behave accordingly.

Otherwise, you will just have to keep your special friendship to school premises in school hours.

Ask your parents to sit down to have a talk - a serious talk - and then tell them everything. Tell them how you feel about everything and then tell them about how you feel about this girl.

Just get serious and talk to your parents.

Good luck!

Marko
http://livingstoncooks.blogspot.com/

THanks for the many good ideas! I took a "class" about sexual activity and I'm well aware of why it's bad to do it at this age. I promise myself to not have sexual activity for many more years. THe farthest I go is a kiss. I'm not into all this icky stuff my friends talk about. I'm 13-going to 14 in a couple days. So good guess! I'd love to do the serious talk with my parents but it's just too embarassing for me. My parents dont take me seriously. Usually because I play videogames and they think it's so dumb.

Dude. Alot of video games make me look dumb. some stuff makes me look even dumber. im a geek, it comes with my life, no extra charge. Anyway, it would be the best thing to do to sit down and talk with your parents. Now if you wanna ahve dates with thhis girl, ddo what i do sometimes. Have it at your own home, or her home for that matter. Also, if you do llittle chores withhout your parents asking you, they may start to think your getting alittle bit responsible. i mean, me and my girl do this sometimes. I cook dinner, get the DVD player ready (let her pick the movie), sometimes we have to watch it on my PC, but thats no prob. Anyway, just talk with your folks, chances are they went through the same thing. And if they cool with the idea, I say man go for it. Then get a job. You'll need it.

Yes, as lwhuntley4 says, your parents were 13 going on 14 themselves, once.

And, as a parent of a 13 year old and of two older boys I can tell you that parenting is not easy. I'm not talking about parents with problem teenagers ~ just general parenting. Parents are just grown-up children, you know.

I tease my kids sometimes ~ sometimes it's to try to help me communicate better ~ sometimes it's just who I am, and they tell me off for showing them up.

And what if they do tease ~ it's not the end of the world; it can be a sign of affection.

I suggest that one possible idea might be to go our with this girl, but just as 'friends' for now. Let your paents take you both ~ or go with a couple of other friends and let parents decide who will take / collect / accompany ~ let your parents get to know her, then let the friendship develop naturally. Just keep your parents informed, so that they are not worrying about you.

I'm glad to hear that you are being thoughtful, sensible and responsible, by the way ~ but do your parents know about your decision:
'I took a "class" about sexual activity and I'm well aware of why it's bad to do it at this age. I promise myself to not have sexual activity for many more years.'

They might take you more seriously if they knrew that there was more going on in your head than videogames.
They won't find that out if you won't communicate with them though.

Good luck!