RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? I screwed it up but I still can't get over her

Now there's a girl that I've posted about before on her. As of now I've been totally infatuated by her and I really want to be with her. Now I told her about a year and a half ago I liked her but she didn't like me so I let it drop. A couple months ago I told her again but she still wasn't interested and this time I asked her if we could at least talk as friends. That went ok for a little while until I made the stupid choice of sending her a message saying that I was fine with the fact that she didn't like me but I was still going to chase after her. She was furious about that and the more I tried to apologize the worse I made it until she pretty much hated me. Now a couple days later she came up to me in choir and told me that i had to stop it but I wasn't sure what she was referring to. She was talking about something else that she blamed me for that I had no idea about. It was only a logical connection for her. I defended myself saying that it wasn't me and she just got upset but I didn't let the conversation carry on.She eventually I found considered me a stalker which hurt me very much because i never realized I was that far. Now a couple months later I'm totally miserable. I have two classes with her choir and math. Now I never look her in the eyes and she generally just doesn't talk to me but she does to be polite when I ask the teacher a question and she is able to answer it for me.

Just being around her gives me this bittersweet feeling knowing that she is still alive which makes me happy but at the same time it kills me inside knowing that I think that I will never have another chance with her. This hurts me so much that I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and am on meds for that but even now it still kills me inside.I want nothing more to make her happy which I believe at the moment by keeping my distance. I can't keep doing this because it will eventually kill me. I have liked other girls but the longing for her has overwhelmed any feelings for any girls that I have had and now has ruined my relationship with my best friend. I want to be with her but I just don't know if I can. Please if you can help this pitiful 15 year old boy in high school. I know you says its in high school and that I'll get over it but I have tried so hard for 2 and half years to and for a short time it worked but it failed for me in the end. People say I'm the nicest sweetest guy and yes I am good looking according to other girls that are not my friends. So why can't she see me for who I am and not just the mistakes I've made?

Hi Caplan

You say that you have mentioned this girl here before ~ is it the one in this thread?
http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/topics/275954

I am sorry to hear about your depression. I don't know if it helps at all, but you are not the first or only young person to post similar concerns on the forum.

This is unsurprising.
Because of hormonal changes, teenagers become very emotional, can easily 'fall in love' and can also become depressed.

During most of my teens I was besotted with the same boy. He, however, was only interested in my friend.
Another boy asked me out almost every day, but I only had eyes for the first one.

I also suffered teenage depression, but not over boys.
I think that it must almost be very common.
However, it is definitely unpleasant and it is good that you are seeing a doctor about it.

Unrequited love is bittersweet and very common in teens.
And it may not have anything to do with the 'mistaker' that you say you have made

It's sad that, at 15, you have been called a 'stalker'.
It is normal for girls & boys to 'chase' each other.
My friends and I used to wander around regularly and 'accidentally' bump into the local lads.
How horrible to think of this as stalking.

Anyway, I met another boy when I was 18 and I have been with him ever since ~ 35 years.

That's how it can work.

I am sorry, but there is nothing anyone can do to make a girl (or boy) have romantic feelings towards them.

I couldn't make that boy like me.
Neither could I force myself to have feelings for the other one.

And it would not be good, for you or her, if she did agree to go out with you.
You would both know that she didn't feel romantically towards you, so it would not be a success.

You will only feel truly happy with a girl when you find one who likes you as much as you like her.

Perhaps you just need to tell this girl that you cannot help the way you feel, and cannot help finding her attractive, but that you will accept that she does not wish to go out with you, and that you hope that you can at least be friendly towards each other.

Apologise for making her feel uncomfortable, but assure her that you never intended to do so or to upset her.

If you think that there has been a misunderstanding about something, then try to clear it up.

Once the air has been cleared, you may feel a little better about this.

I hope so.
Good luck with this

By the way, what is the problem with your best friend?
Such a falling out can't be helping matters.

Thanks for the advice and yes that was about her. I tried apologizing immediately after I had sent it but she wasn't interested in my apologies. She was completely furious and all my attempts to make it better just made it worse. And I already told her I can't help the way I feel and I understood that she didn't want to go out. I never asked her out once. If I can never have her I just want to move on as well but I have failed in doing so.. any tips?

The only thing that I can suggest is to immerse yourself in things that you enjoy ~ clubs, sports, hobbies, etc ~ especially if this could help you to meet more people and make new friends.

Also concentrate on your school work, to improve your grades, etc.

And try to believe, in your heart, that the way you feel is something that you have in common with many teens, and that you will find the perfect girl, for you, when the time is right.

If this girl will not even accept your apologies, or realise that it is normal to feel as you do ~ without her getting angry about it ~ then she is probably not as 'ideal' as you seems to think she is. She may be more tolerant and understanding when she is a little older.

Accept that you can't help having feelings for her. Don't try to pretend that you do not care ~ but tell yourself that you will find someone else, with whom you will be happier.