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Love and relationships can have different meanings, since some people are in open relationships while others are in long-lasting relationships. When two people are in love they often go through life struggling together, loving together, and surviving together while continuing their journey in love. When a person is looking for a mate, they often look for compatible traits in another person believing that the compatibility will mean that the relationship will last a lifetime.

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I know that this is something that has been overused but love comes naturally and the more you stress yourself in finding it, the harder it will come by your way.

What I mean is, have fun and go out. But do not have the mindset that you are going to find love tonight but chances are, you would not. The reason why you probably have not found it yet is because you preempt things.

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Welcome to the forum, bdalton smile


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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One thing I've found always helpful is to join clubs. if you are part of a group with certain interests, you have already found others who like what you like! With all the Meetup groups out there, and adult education classes, and volunteer opportunities, there are always fun groups to join.

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unlike poles attract each other and its a golden rule.
if a person finding a mate just like him or so called compatible partner then he never gonna make it long lasting .after certain period of time friction come in their thoughts and relationship burn away.
always person having opposite thoughts can workout on long lasting relationship and fulfill each other requirements which lead to perfect life

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unlike poles might attract, but it rarely works. not for the long run anyway. you have to have similar belief systems and likes. I might like to go out partying everynight, (I don't) but say my partner is a homebody (which he is) then how will that work. It wont'. conflict is in the differences. You don't have to be exactly alike, that would be boring, but having a common and similar base makes for a happy relationship.
And fun too! You can look at him and say "hey, I feel like that too!" You've just been validated.


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kathy ,,,,,it always works because two people works on any relationship to make their life perfect .an individual person is not perfect and he/she always have some kind of emptyness in life which he/she try to fulfill by means of other person.if both are same then they have common problems and who can solve their problems...which lead to breakup.for example consider me i m very short tempered and if my partner is also same like me then we get fight every second because no one understands each other problem so no one compromise .

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You are right...if you both like to fight, that's not good. You can work on that and find common ground. And you are right...no one is perfect. There is no 1 person for us.

I was talking about general similar morals...if you will...or likes and dislikes. Basic life goals should be similar.
Even 2 people who are very alike..1 can ruin the whole thing all on their own due to selfishness and deceit. 1 can be doing everything they can to "make it work" and 1 can just go out and do things they shouldn't and it will not work no matter what.

That's why you need common ground. Do you BOTH want things to work, or does 1 want to work at it while the other is "different" and has different ways and not care...maybe their idea is that if it's meant to be it will work and if not, oh well?
There is no saying it will work no matter what either. That's why 50% of us divorce. I have been there. I have finally found that person who is closer to my goals and me his. Took a lifetime to find him and him me...but there you go.


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kathy.....tell me what is common ground.in relationship.....???
90% divorce cases happen because people treat divorce as a tool to break relationship or separate.but how can a just piece of paper separate two people if they love each other.
there should be a love in relationship to workout from both side .
if two person love each other then there is no need of marriage and all the stuff.they can live together without any condition.
what we do now a days first we don't care about a person and just form relationships for so called fun but as the age increases people relies the importance of love in their life but here starts the game of luck because people goes blind and in hurry they always get wrong person because they don't wanna waste time in knowing a person .they just want relationship and specially girls do that thing.after breakup they cry and shout there is no true love.
for finding a right person for oneself takes time and sometimes many years but once u find then there is fun in life.
kathy a advice for u just check every guy on every parameter then make decision .....is he really deserves u because we should always examined the person before trust him .it really hurts when trust break

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You are correct..it hurts when trust is broken and it's so very hard to earn that back...if ever.
Not sure where you're coming from in what you say. Of course you should know a person before you get involved with them. That's where you determin "common ground" meaning the same values. I'm not talking about that butterfly feeling you get when you first meet someone. That is over and gone within the first year.
I don't think that people have to marry to have a relationship. But most want to. Their reasons might be that they want to be a wife/husband...or they want a family, or they just like the idea of it. Those are not good enough reasons by themselves, but are also not bad reasons either.

You sound young, I'm not sure.

Love doesn't go blind. love starts out blind. Then as you know a person over time, the blindness lifts. Then you see what you've got yourself into there you have your disenchantment. You are right, lots of girls are disenchanted and cry over "lost love" but was probably not REAL love to begin with, just the idea of love. But men do this too.

I'm not the expert here. I've made lots of mistakes in my choices. I only commented due to your comment about how opposites attract and I think they do too...they just don't really stick.


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