Hello Live2Ski
Difficult one.
Certainly divorces can cause a lot of pain to families. Many children suffer emotionally as a result of them. Others, though, seem to cope well ~ it seems to depend upon how well the transition goes and how much time they can spend with their parents. Generally, though, I understand that children like to be with both parents, together, if at all possible.
What about the spouses? Are they aware that your love lies outside the matrimonial home? Are they being misled? If so, then that seems very unfair ~ though some people may prefer not to know the truth.
No-one can tell you what to do. No-one can tell you to divorce your wife and move out of the family home. You and your lover and your families will have to sort this out. It seems very sad that you have had to look for love outside of your marriage. Was there ~ is there ~ no way of salvaging the love that, presumably, you and your wife once felt for each other?
You only live once ~ so maybe you should put your happiness first ~ but if you pursue your happiness then it will probably cause sadness for others.
If you stay as you are, you are being unfaithful, which could also cause great distress when the truth is discovered.
Yes, you are in a very difficult situation. I know that people cannot help falling in or out of love, but maybe you should consider what drew you to your wife in the first place and try to rekindle it ~ maybe with the help of counselors??
Maybe you will get other views and alternative advice from other members.
Good luck to all of you
