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vj4567 Offline OP
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Hi guys. First off, I'm a new member so sorry if I inadvertently break any forum regulations in this post.

This is about a female friend of mine. We met in college last year. She's never had a boyfriend and admits to being scared off very easily. She's a very friendly, outgoing kind of girl, despite being nervous about relationships. We started seeing each other, until a mutual male friend told her lies about me that scared her off. We stayed friends but things were awkward and we weren't hugely close friends (which was partly my fault for being a bit clingy which obviously pushed her further away!)

This year, we live in different houses but a short walk from each other so things have been better. 3 weeks ago, I went on a few dates with a girl who turned out to be course-mates with my friend. My friend took quite an interest, asking me and this girl how often we were seeing each other, whether we were officially a couple yet etc etc.

Since I finished with the girl- so for the last 4 weeks- my friend has been more friendly than ever. She's started calling me more often by a little nickname, lots more eye contact smiling etc. We also spend more time together- I've been down to hers the last 2 Saturday nights to watch films. She always suggests we watch them in her room and we end up under her duvet. During these occasions, she seems to get a bit nervous and fidgety but seems perfectly happy to meet again.

Last week when we were slightly tipsy, she linked arms with me while walking to a club and asked me to walk her home and did the same. Now if we're out together alone she links my arm, but sometimes seems a bit nervous about it. She stops showing signs of interest if we're out in our group of friends.

A few days ago, she texts me asking if I can walk down with her to the doctors because she's feeling unwell, so we walk down linking arms. In the waiting room she asks if I'd like to watch Inception during the week (but we didnt finalise a date). As we're walking back she's walking by my side then says "Oh I'll hold onto you" and links arms. Then she invites me into hers to watch Notting Hill for the afternoon- again in her bed with her.

Is she just being friendly and this is just us becoming closer friends or could it be something else? Thanks!



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PDM Offline
True Blue Soulmate
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Hi & welcome vj4567 smile

I would say that she likes you.

I would also say that a girl who invites an boy into her bed to watch films is not particularly shy smile

Obviously, the blip in your relationship was caused by the lies told by your 'friend', so it would probably be a good idea to ensure that she now knows the truth about you.

As you get to know her better, you could let her know that you are a caring, patient kind of person who will not push her into doing anything that she is uncomfortable with. (Actually, she probably knows this already.)

Perhaps you could invite her out for something to eat? See how she responds. smile

I wonder why 'She stops showing signs of interest if [you]'re out in our group of friends'?
Perhaps she doesn't want to be teased, and wants this to be special ~ just between the two of you???
You could ask her, of course smile

Would you like this to develop into a romance?
Do you think that she knows how you may feel?


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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vj4567 Offline OP
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First of all, thank you PDM for your informative reply- it's rare to find an internet forum where people give thoughtful answers to sincere questions like these. I appreciate it smile

Yes I agree that the word "shy" probably doesn't apply to be fair. I guess I used it more because whenever we find ourselves in that position, she becomes twitchy (example: sometimes she grabs onto her door handle and starts twisting and fiddling with it, tapping hands, face touching blah blah smile )

She does now know the truth about what happened last year and like I said, I'd call us close friends (although I've never been one of the friends she talks to about other guys thankfully)

I guess I would like things to develop but as you can probably tell, we do have a fair amount of "baggage" after last year so that may be an issue for her.. who knows!

Thanks for taking the time to read my question smile



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True Blue Soulmate
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Good, honest, open communication, in a safe, caring, trusting environment, is usually beneficial in matters like these.

Good luck smile


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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OR (and I say this as protection for you) she COULD just be your friend. Put this into consideration:

When you were writing this, I am almost 100% sure that you really WANT to think that she likes you. If you were to re-read your story that you posted, you would notice how "in favor" your story sounds, or biased would be a better word. Now, if things turn out for the worst and she really doesn't like you that way and you were to re-type this story a few months later, you would notice a change. You would then begin to pick out all of the BAD signs rather than the good. Think clearly about the entire situation and do not totally assume the best because many times, we all fall short of what we expect. By all means, I am not trying to discourage you, but you might should go with YOUR gut on this rather than what some strangers think about the situation. Let's get real; we all want you to have the whole "fairy tale 'it all worked out for the good'" kind of story. Because of this, no one will tell you what I would tell you and that would be complete honesty. None of these people care about you, but they all believe in love, so they all will tell you .. well ... commonly given advice. Just read the above comments and tell me if you notice a pattern in what they all say. It usually doesn't work that way. Be realistic with all of your decisions and you should be fine. If you like her, and you think she likes you, go for it. If you think she doesn't like you and you still like her and she is cute, go for her anyways. Hell, it couldn't hurt. if she is your REAL friend, then if you try to pursue her and she denies, it shouldn't be a problem. Real friendships stand through the tests.


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