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Last autumn I met this wonderful person, who is currently my art teacher (not at school, in an after class activity), and the problem is - I'm head over heels for him!
At first, it started out like a normal crush I tend have on many men who are smart and attractive, but it did not end like it should have ended if it had been a simple crush.
Some time has passed, and we started riding the bus together as I live only two stops further. Having a conversation was inevitable and it was so good, I just couldn't forget. His knowledge and understanding of things amazed me. Soon after I started paying attention to the way he pronounces words, how his lips and jaw move when he does so and pretty much everything I could see on his face. Subconsciously I was trying to analyze what are my chances to get this man...
Had there not been another woman, I would have hit on him long ago, but I am not sure if I should be interfering with his life and his love affairs. This is not a child's game and I do see some affection he has towards me, but I don't know how seriously I am supposed to take it. He's nine years my senior, but we get along quite well, and we share many interests. Maybe there's someone who's been in a situation like this?

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Hello 'inlovewithsensei' & welcome smile

You say that you are in school, so I'm guessing that you are quite young ~ a teenager perhaps?

This makes you the age that nature intended you to look at males, with a view to them being a good mate and father. Of course, you probably aren't ready for this, yet, but it's still what nature intended.

You have met an intelligent, attractive and interesting man. Being your art teacher, he is also in a position of power; yet, since he is not a school teacher, your relationship is a little different from usual relationships with teachers.

And so you fall in love!
Under usual circumstances, this would probably just be a traditional crush, but with him, it's different, because he isn't at school and you catch the bus with him.

You mention another woman. Do you actually know that he has a girlfriend / partner?

You say that you get on well with him ~ that's not surprising if you have similar interests.

You say that he shows affection ~ but, again, there is no reason why he shouldn't like you. He may even feel flattered by your attention.

The thing is, though, that it is not good for teachers to have relationships with students.

I don't know your circumstancers and a lot depends on your age and on his intentions and on whether there are others involved.

If you were 21 and he were 30, and unattached, then I would see no problem.

If you were 17 and he were 26, then I think that it would be inappropriate, and he could get into trouble and lose his job,

If you were 15 and he were 24, then it's a definite 'no'.

And yes, lots of us have had crushes on teachers and bosses etc, when we were young. Sometimes they are so intense that they do not feel like crushes, but they are.

And I knew girls who have married their teachers, but not until they were older.

Unless you are both of an age where this would cause no problems, I would advise you to enjoy your crush, but certainly not to pursue it. smile


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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I am 17 and he is 26. I do not think he would get in trouble, because in my country 14 is the legal age of consent.
As for the other woman, I am sure he has a girlfriend as he stated so himself.
I'm trying to keep our conversation friendly, but objective, so I do not express much fascination towards him when we communicate.

Last edited by inlovewithsensei; 05/03/10 09:39 AM.
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I think that, if he has specifically mentioned his girlfriend, then that might be because he senses that you have a crush on him, and wants to make it clear that he isn't available.

Of course, things may change.

If you are only 17, and he is your teacher, then it might still possibly be frowned upon ~ I don't know.

I think that you may be right to try to be just friendly ~ for now, at least.

Last edited by PDM; 05/03/10 05:29 PM.

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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He did not say it to me directly, I just overheard him talking to a fellow student and mentioning his girlfriend. I also reassured myself by checking his status on a social network.
I must agree - waiting and trying to be good friends is the smartest choice I can make now. Thank you for replying.

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Are you from Japan?




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Take care & good luck smile


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Originally Posted By: Jessica Cole
Are you from Japan?

No, I am not. Why do you ask?

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Because, in Japan, seeing a 17 year old and a 26 year old wouldn't be frowned upon, so that's why I thought you were, since 14 is the legal age of consent. It's the same in Japan. That's why I thought so. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was just wondering. I hope everything went well!





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