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Joined: Oct 2004
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That is such awesome news!! Congratualations!!

See, everything will work out, step by step smile


Lisa Shea, Owner
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jilly Offline OP
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Thank you. I am really working each day, with small steps to get where I want to be.

I really think moving is more stressful than it appears (and yes it does seem stressful...but i mean constantly moving). Nothing in your life is stable or settled, you don't know where things are in your home, you don't have a doctor or a hairdresser, you have to mess endlessly with utilities companies, learn your streets, meet neighbors, find out the cheapest gas stations and places to buy everything, move your insurance, mailing address, deal with DMVs, move your prescriptions...put things into and out of storage...

I need to stop this. Right now. I need to figure out if this is indeed the place for me to stay in, as I can't do this again. I've moved more than 90 times last time I counted. I am DONE.

My husband wants to keep moving every year. It is KILLING me inside.

I have so much thinking to do. I know that i need to set down roots somewhere and I would like to think and hope that it is here.

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I agree that constant moving is a challenge. Some people enjoy the change and some people would rather have stability. Both ways are fine but it's important to have a way of life that suits you. I used to move every year and I didn't mind it, but I didn't enjoy it either. I've been in my current home about 14 years and I really am very happy here. The thought of getting everything packed up is very stressful. So I completely empathize with your desire to just stay put.

If your hubby enjoys moving, then he can travel a lot - and come back to your "home base" occasionally. I can understand the fun desire to travel - but I also like to have a home base.


Lisa Shea, Owner
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I used to enjoy change and lots of it. I used to think stability was for wimps. I've changed a lot since my 20s. Now I am old and grumpy. smile

I've never once in my adult life had any real roots anywhere. I long for a garden and root cellar and a green home and a place to make more wonderful as the years go by.

I am afraid it won't be here, if I stay married to Dan. He told me he thinks this is the ugliest terrain he could ever imagine. That really upsets me, as I adore this serene, gorgeous landscape. I am so tired of trying to come up with a place we can BOTH be happy. It does not seem to exist.

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It is so true that we all change over time. So a situation which might be perfect for us in decade 2 might not be perfect in decade 3. It's not that you're old and grumpy smile It's that you are now focused on a stability stage of life, which is fine!

I have been thinking about Dan's statement for some time, trying to think of how to respond. I adore nature in all its shapes and colors. I love green mountains, and squishy bogs, and rocky stretches, and rolling sandy dunes. I'm just not sure I could think of an area of nature as being "ugly" - unless it was something damaged by humans.

I've been trying to think of how I would start a discussion if Bob said something like that about the area we live. Hmmm.

"If there was a change we made to this area which could add some beauty into it, what would that be?"

I think that would be where I started. That could give a sense of direction.


Lisa Shea, Owner
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Thank you for the insights. Dan's answer to the question was, "make it rain here about 100 times more."

I guess he likes grass and much greenery. This is more like muted shades of beige, rust, green, taupe and bone. With a huge horizon, just how i like it. smile


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Ok I think buying a rain making system is probably beyond your income right now smile So maybe I need to qualify the question into

what can you AFFORD to do to your home, which would make it more cozy and beautiful smile

If he likes greenery how about getting some potted plants and putting them around the house? Give him some green?


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Well, we yakked and yakked over this. The truth is, he does not like this part of the world. frown

So we are going to spend the summer in Alabama to make him happy. I have a friend there, plus he has family there, so I am looking forward to having a girlfriend to do things with and an extended family.

He doesn't want to come back to this place. So either I will be here alone or we will figure something else out. We are playing about with the idea of building a tiny house on his mom's land in Oklahoma.

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It is certainly challenging. As I've mentioned before, we have the reverse problem here. I adore New England. I love the green rolling hills. Bob really wants to live in Arizona. He loves the dry heat. In our case, we are staying here smile But I'm willing to travel with him to Arizona to visit. We have too many elderly family members and pets to be mobile right now.


Lisa Shea, Owner
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Well I wish you'd move out here! lol

Come out for a visit to Sedona. He can play golf and you and i can explore the red rocks and oak creek canyon. These are some of the finest golf courses in Sedona, and we could even take the RV to Palm Springs if he liked!


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