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Niki Offline OP
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I have to say thanks for sharing Amaggiepie. I may not be much help, but I think as a woman I can at least share.

I have a personal opinion of spacing out children 3 years. I hear the body doesn't fully heal from pregnancy until 3 years after, and generally think it's a good rule. But! I dunno if that opinion would stay when I start having kids! Hehe.

I think with baby fever though.. it's just something that has to be waited out. I get it so so bad sometimes I just want to *cough* forget *cough* my birth control pills and oops! there it happens. My best solution is to remember the reasons why I can't or shouldn't. It's really all I got. Stay away from baby sites, mommy's to be... forums help a lot too cause people tend to give their real life stories and get our heads out of the baby clouds!

But then again my hubbie DEFINATELY does not want kids now. So all I have to do is tell I'm having "mommy hormones" and he'll give me the look, and I take my Pill and be a good wife... and I'm young, don't have kids, and am in no financial situation or anything to think about having kids. *sigh* So I'm probably not any help at all!

EDIT ADD: Forgot this was my thread! All I have to do is go back and read some of the things people typed and it killed my baby fever. I actually got quite depressed after reading this! All the statements of medical care, the cost, the work... yeah that was enough to kill the desire in me..... THANKS!

Last edited by Niki; 02/09/09 09:54 PM.
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I guess because I already have J, I think to myself, "well one more wont really be that much more expensive, right?" lol. I really know I need to wait, but some days, I just get that *itch*. I definately know what it feels like to want to forget your bcp (birth control pills). Heck, if I didn't have the Mirena in, I probably would have gone off the deep end and threw them out by now wink. Which is why I got it. I can't take it out on a whim. Anyway, thanks for responding. Ill have to go back and re read this thread.


~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!
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Niki Offline OP
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I'm wondering. Is it a good reason to start having kids because of dying/aging relatives?

For example in my case, 2 dearly loved grandparents are deceased. My remaining grandfather isn't doing very well at all. I'm their only grandchild that's married. I want them to have great-grandchildren, and want my children to have at least a picture of a great-grandparent. My mother has a picture of my great-grand-mother (my Italian ancestor) holding me as a baby. She died shortly after, maybe a few weeks after.. so it means the world to me and my mom that she got to hold me.

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There may be many reasons for wanting children ~ the important thing is that they are wanted ~ and loved and cared-for.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Originally Posted By: Niki
I'm wondering. Is it a good reason to start having kids because of dying/aging relatives?




OK. Sadly I can offer advice here as I have gone through this kinda...
I was 38 weeks pregnant with my first and surprise baby (we were using protection) when my father suddenly had a stroke... I got induced to make sure, if the worst was to happen I wouldn't have to try and give birth with that extra stress (bad enough that he was seriously ill)
So, to rush to the end because it was so insane, my father died two weeks after I had my daughter and his funeral was two weeks after that (my family met my daughter at my father's wake!)

To lose someone so close to me (my father and I spoke everyday!) AND to gain someone so close to me (of course!) was... well... I have no words.

My daughter is amazing, she slept through from day one, she eats whatever I give her, she barely crys and is the most beautiful thing ever... but... I miss my popsy everyday... *pause*

*breathe*

*calm*

OK.... I am back...

*breathes out slowly*

I always wanted children, Willow was a huge shock.
It is so hard to be a mommy.
It is so hard when your father dies.
so hard to have both happen at the same time.

BUT

I am so happy! (tired but happy)

You will have a baby when you feel ready... you will know when you are.
It is also not about money (useful though)

Me and my man were just starting a major course at uni (degrees in photography) when I found out I was pregnant, my man went on to complete less than a year (too stressful with him out all day and me losing my mind at home - I also had post-natal depression - fun!) so we were not rolling in cash!
It has been hard to get all the things a child needs but with the internet comes other people with their advice about what you REALLY need!

All I will say is it is great to plan things, sensible even, but sometimes life gets in the way and things feel right and feel right NOW.

You can never really be ready for a baby, you will be shocked even if you are trying for one every day. If you and hubby want children then just do it... there never is a "right time"

I think Willow was given to me because I was to lose my beloved father.... She got me through it. Without her I don't think I would have coped... I have to continue on because she needs me... Now, 15 months on I realise I need her. xx

Do what you feel is right, deep down you know if it is time.


(WOW I rambled on!! LOL!! Did I contradict myself enough times!? Did I even help?! smile LOL!!)

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Niki Offline OP
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Fabutam that was wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. It really did help because you gave a very relevant real story. So much of what you said is what I needed to hear.

As for me, I went through another wave of wanting one badly and (as right now) thinking I would go insane if I did become pregnant. When Steve was in the hospital this past week expecting surgery, I was going nuts thinking of what I would do if I lost him and lived my life as a childless widow. Then when he made it through and is now home looking at three months being out of work and us being with no income (unless I get a job) and things with school not looking bright... needless to say a child is far from my mind. *sigh*

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I just found out I'm expecting. My fiance and I are in no financial place to have a baby and we panicked at first but now that the shock is over we're starting to feel excited. I'll be 29 next month and I keep feeling like if we had waited and waited to have a baby it may never have happened. Yes our little jelly bean is a surprise but we already love him/her. The budgies probably won't though.


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Congratulations - my son and daughter had a "tadpole" so I know how excited you are about your jelly bean.

No one is ever in a financial place to have a baby. Fact of life.

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Absolutely!
Great! Congrats!


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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