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Quazaa Offline OP
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about two months go i broke off with my b/f of 4 1/2 years for another guy becuase i thought my ex didnt love me anymore.

In the two months i was with the new guy all i could think abotu was my ex and how i now relized what a huge mistake i have made and how in my heart he is the one and i couldnt live anothr day without him with me.

to make matter worse we have a two year old together and i couldnt do the NC thing as we need to talk in regards to our daughter.

well since the begining of decemeber we have been spending alot of time together, the most time we have spent appart in the last month is 2 days and now he is working away for 3 weeks.

while together its been great no fighting , hugs kisses and even really intimate togeter.

NOW since hes been gone ( only 2 days now) he tells me he doesnt think it will work out and to stop wasting my time but still tells me he loves me and wants to be with me but itll never work...

do you think that the NC would work with him? i know we have to speak when it comes to our kid but do u think if i dont make contact any other time that this may work?


WHAT SHOULD I DO ....HELP ME.

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True Blue Soulmate
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Hello Quazaa & welcome smile

It sounds as if you two have a special bond, which is obvious when you are together, but, perhaps, when you are apart, your ex remembers the hurt he felt when you left him, and remembers that you have been with another man, and wonders if you will leave him again, or whether taking you back is the right thing to do.

Maybe, to ensure that it doesn't happen again and that he doesn't have to think about your other relationship, he thinks that it would be best to end the relationship.

I may be wrong, but that's how I interpret it.

If you have been getting on so well, and as you have a child together, I think that it might be worth trying to save this.

I would recommend relationship counselling.
Is that a possibility for you?

Good luck! smile



"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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i completely agree with PDM
and i hope that all of this works out...
BEST WISHES for you and your daughter and the whole situation

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Quazaa Offline OP
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HI there thanks guys...

i have thought about councelling but i think ill wait to bring that up when i know exactly where we stand...

ive never broken off a "serious" relationship before. but i reall do think that now ive lost him that he is the one and ive lost him forever...

i have only today stopped messaging him and only done for for info on our daughter to let him know how she is ...however since ive stopped messaging him hes make the first contact with text messages....

do you think this might be an early sign that maybe it may work out ???

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There certainly seems to be mixed signals going back and forth.

I think counseling for the two of you may be the best chance of both of you being there for your daughter (whatever your relationship with each other).

Good luck.


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Sometimes when a person says I love you and I want to be with you but....."it will never work". They know exactly what it is that "will never work". I believe there is something that is in his mind that he feels is standing in the way. I believe he either wants you to ask him what that is or he wants you to make the first move to eliminate the problem. You don't mention where your other boyfriend is when you are spending time with your ex. Could it be that he knows you are still hooked up with him and does not want to be someone on the "side".

I think it would be in the best interest of you and him to put it all out on the table. Tell him exactly how you feel. Ask him what he wants and if there is anything you can do to make it happen.

Sometimes it is hard to forget the hurt of breaking up and the fact that you have been with another. Make sure you understand how he feels about this before you committ to trying and that you get the counseling that PDM and Carl suggested. These kinds of feelings are complicated and you would not be the first couple that needed help getting past them. If you love each other, it can be done. The last thing you want is to be in a relationship where you both are bringing up the past mistakes without help to overcome them.



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Quazaa Offline OP
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HI joandboys thanks for this post as you have read my other you know what the go is now.

in regards to the other guy who im no longer with he lives nearly 10 horus away from me now and is back with his ex and his kids ....lucky him!

we have both put on the table what he want but he keeps changing his mind and i beleive the family/friends are the issue as he keeps calling me honey etc in text messages and he HAS she MANY times that he does and will always love me....and the last two weeks we have spent together were like we were together but the second he gets back to his place where hes around the friends he changes his mind again !!!!

i am trying No contact with him unless its to do with our daughter but he keeps messaging me ....i hope that this is a sign ....

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Could you go away together somewhere ~ a pleasant holiday, for you, him and your child ~ where you can really sort things out, without outside interference?


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Quazaa Offline OP
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id love for that but hes a farmer and right now they are harvesting and once thats done seedig ...but i have wanted to suggest that .,...and i think i will !!!!! but thatll all be good untill we come home and hes got the family and friends in his face again ....


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But, at the moment, you are not a single unit.

If you could become a unit ~ and that won't happen unless and until you two can sort yourselves out ~ others can come between you.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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