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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,173
Silver Star Soulmate
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Silver Star Soulmate
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,173
AMaggiePie, please forgive me. I seldom do this, but when I do, it feels horrible to me. I posted a few posts above, basing what I said on the two previous posts - without going back and reading your original post and all the responses.

I goofed big time. As I was reading JoAndBoys post, I realized I hadn't known all the facts.

Looks like both the father of your child and your bf are dragging you down. Take care of you and your daughter. Don't feel guilty about him. If you need help from family, take it - it doesn't have to be forever.

I got help from my family, and I've given them help before, so I knew it all evens out.

I'd say you deserve some stability.


Marge is the love of my life.
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
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True Blue Soulmate
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True Blue Soulmate
Joined: Dec 2004
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So, how's it going Amaggiepie? smile
Are things sorting themselves out, or are you still worrying?
Or would you rather we left the matter alone, until you want to say more?


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
Joined: Oct 2008
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FORGET BOTH THOSE GUYS THERES NO RESPECT THEIR CONCENTRATE ON WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS. YOU DONT NEED TO TAKE CARE OF ANYONE BUT HER AND YOUR SELF.


PISCES THE DREAMER
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 468
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Things have been a little better. Since we had that big argument, it hasnt happened again and hes been helping out more around the house, like I asked. Were really trying to work things out...

I really do care about him, but when all of that happened, it was like I just got to this poitn where I didnt care anymore...

Im hoping that things will keep getting better.

Thanks for all your comments guys. It helps to have someone to talk to.


~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
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True Blue Soulmate
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True Blue Soulmate
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Glad things are improving.

Hope it continues.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 468
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Yeah, the improving thing isn't working out. Since the "big argument" we had when I first posted, things have never gotten completely better. Thursday was Thanksgiving, and my BF just had to ruin it for me. Since the big fight, when I went to my Moms and he acted like a nut and embarrassed himself, he has not wanted to go over my mom's house with me for anything and will not go. He never has a good reason. When I bug him about it, he says that its because he doesn't feel comfortable there now and that its my fault because I always go running to my mom to tell her our problems and that our problems are private and she or anyone else should not know about them. I tell his that he is nuts and that my mom is my mom and that shes there for me when I have a problem and that just because he doesn't like it doesn't mean Im not going to have a relationship with my mom...This issues has come up about 4 times between the first big fight and Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was at my mom's house this year and she had also invited her BFs family so it was bigger than usual. The day before thanksgiving, he decided that he wasn't going (even though we specifically decided when we were going where for the holidays). He said "I dont feel comfortable" or "theres too many people" or "its your fault that I feel this way because you told your mom about our business" etc etc. So I finally gave up and told him that he could do whatever he wanted but that I was going.

I went to the party with my daughter, and after we had been there an hour, he started calling me. He complained that there was no food to eat (I didn't cook anything for him to eat when he got home from work because he was invited to come eat over my moms and he decided not to come). I specifically told him that I was going to do this that morning and he said "whatever". (I also specifically didn't clean anything because of a rude comment he had made to me on the phone that morning.) Then he called again asking when I would be home. I told him I didn't know. He was still adamant that he wasnt coming. About an hour later, he showed up. He hardly acknowledged me when he came in, he said hi to everyone there, he got a drink, did not want to eat, and then made his way to the door. He called me over to the door and pointed to a guy on the couch (who was the youngest and most handsome guy there) and said "whos he here with?" I told him he was with his GF, who was sitting right next to him. My BF was very rude about this because he pointed right at the guy. Then he said, "Im going out" and he left. He had been there maybe all of 5 minutes.

I was so embarrassed. I felt like he came over just to bother me, to check on me, to ruin my night. My moms BF got very mad. I was so aggrevated. (I later found out that the reason he asked who that guy was is becaus ehe got in a fight with his cousin or something). Anyway, about an hour or so later, he was calling me again. He said that he went to talk to someone about work (which was not likely since it was 8:30 pm on Thanksgiving) and that he was done now and that he was coming back over. I told him not to come back over, that he embarassed me in front of everyone, and that I didn't want him there. He got mad and said he was coming anyway. He came and sat out front for anout 20 minutes and then finally left when I didn't come outside. Then he went home and kept calling me to ask me when I was coming home. I told him I didn't know like a million times and finally told him like 11 oclock. at 10 oclock he was calling me againt to ask when I was coming home. I got mad and told him that if he kept calling me I was just gonna stay the night. Then he started saying that I needed to think more about the baby and come home because it was going to be colder at 11 oclock. Finally, we ended up arguing and he told me "whatever" F*** you, I just want to break up, I cant deal with you anymore, go f*** all of them (the guys at the party)" and he hung up. He called me back at 12 to tell me he was going to a bar and to ask me if I was coming home that night. I tol,d him no. He said he was confused and depressed and didnt know what he wanted and that he loves me but hes tired of all the problems. I told him that I feel the same way and I dont know what to tell him. The next day when I came home, he wouldnt talk about what happened and has since refused to. He wants to pretend it never happened, which I cant do. I tried to have a good day yesterday though, despite.


~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 468
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Anyway, last night he just started getting on my nerves because I told him that bthe guy he pointed out (named Charlie) and his GF invited me to a bar, and that I didn't go, but that they wanted me to go with them on Saturday to a club and that he should come. He was like "Im not going out with them" like they had a disease or something. I was like "why, because you got in a fight with his cousin now youre going to hate his whole family" and he was like "exactly" and I told him that that was stupid. He said he didnt care, that hew didnt want to make any new friends because everyone is a hypocrite and that they stab you in the back the first chance they get. Which essentially means that I cant have friends or go out because he will do the same thing he did on Thanksgiving with the calling and bothering. I told him that not everyone is the same, and that hes a hypocrite, too (which he 100% is) and he said that he knows, that he has to be a hypocrite. Which I hate. So anyway, I got very aggrevated and went to bed.

This morning, he got up late for work and pulled out a bunch of leftover out of the fridge and made a huge plate for himself and I was like "are you going to eat all of that right now...youre late" thinking that maybe he should grab a sandwich or something and he said" yeah, well Im not gonna go hungry" like I had told him not to eat or something. I told him "well, its a little late isnt it?" and he said "so, my boss doesnt care" and I said, "I know, but you lose money when you come in late" because he is paid by hour" so then he said soemthing else and I got aggrevated and was like "you can be so stupid sometimes!" and he got mad and turned off the microwave and slammed it shut and siad that I ruined his appetite and that I walsways ruin his morning, etc etc. Then he stormed out the front door and was like F*** you Maggie.


~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 468
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Sorry I double posted and it was long, but alot has happened. Im just so sick of all of this.


~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!
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Whew! This sounds like a nightmare, and I feel for you.

If I may be blunt, though, this guy sounds like bad news all the way -- seriously -- controlling, weird, jealous for no reason, rude, etc.

I don't want to hurt your feelings, Maggie, and I know you're going through a tough time even apart from the issue of him, but I truly think he "has issues," as they say, and it sure doesn't sound like he's going to get his act together any time soon.

I think the earlier posts contain some really, really good advice; all I can add is that you might want to turn to other people in your life for emotional support (mom, friends) and do whatever you need to, to get you and your daughter away from this guy.

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,173
Silver Star Soulmate
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Silver Star Soulmate
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I don't have time for a long post, but I agree you should get free of this guy - for you and for your daughter. Get legal help in having him not be allowed to harass you. He's very much bad news.


Marge is the love of my life.
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