RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Where do i go from here? help, please!

My boyfriend and i had been dating since April, and everything was perfect until the end of June. I met his mother, sister, and other family members. We were together every other day. We had an amazing time together. Towards the end of June he started complaining that he was in a financial rut and that he had to work a lot of overtime. He said he couldn't control our relationship and wish he could give me what i deserved. He was depressed most of the time and often ignored my calls. I didn't understand why he didn't come to me for support. He ignored me the whole month of July. This past sunday i got a phonecall from him telling me that he misses me and that hes going to come see me. He came and we hugged for literally 5 minutes straight. He told me he had had a dream that he was looking for something in his mothers house and he didnt know what he was looking for. When he walked out into the driveway, he saw me, and he knew he was looking for me. He said he missed me, but when i told him i loved him, he didnt say anything. We decided to try to make things work, but for the next two days, he ignored me and didnt call. the third day, i got a text message from him, saying "as u can see, i can't do this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. my lifestyle doesnt allow me to enjoy u, im going through 2 much right now. ill call you u later when i can..."

I hate that he's playing games like this. What do I do? Do i just ignore him and try to forget about him so i can get him back? i miss him like crazy, and i wish things went back to the way they used to be. He doesn't know what he's putting me through. I've never been this miserable.

So i just wait until he calls back? What do i say if he ever calls? How can i get him back fast?

Hello Princess & welcome.

From what you say, I don't get the impression that he is game -playing.

He has financial problems and has to work overtime.

Both financial problems and long working hours have wrecked a number of relationaships.

I'm guessing that he is really fond of you and enjoys your company, but cannot cope with all the responsibilty that he feels is on him at the moment.

Men are 'supposed' to cope and to provide. They are supposed to be strong and silent. They are not supposed to need emotional help from their girlfriends ~ or, at least, that was, for many, the traditional way. (We have a thread on 'When men weep' which is related to this subject.)
Perhaps he has been brought up to think this way.

Saying that you loved him may have made him feel an extra responsibility towards you, and he may not have felt able to give you what he thinks you need or deserve ~ especially if he is feeling downhearted.

It would probably benefit him to share his concerns with you more.

Have a look at the 'Venus and Mars' books, or something similar, which help to explain why many men act as they do.

Maybe a no-pressure chat could help him to realise that you are there for him, without expecting anything from him, at times when he feels that he has nothing to give ~ not even good company.

Good luck.