Welcome to the forum, Rumpkinroo.
I can only give you my responses to your story.
Others may have different opinions.
You dated her for 3 months.
You got cold feet & broke up with her for no good reason.
After 3 weeks you called her wanting her to commit to you.Three months isn't a particularly long time to be sure that this is going to be a long term relationship, involving commitment.
It may be long enough to know if you are right for each other, but it may not be.
Also, your age can come into the equation.
Really, I think that it is a bit much to break up with a girl and then expect her to come running back to you ~ and to commit to you ~ just because you have changed your mind.
Meanwhile her feelings for a close friend may have developed into romance.Although I believe that platonic relationships can exist between boys and girls, I also think that, in many cases, one or other may have romantic feelings, which they suppress until the time is right.
This boy may have harboured romantic feelings for this girl, which only surfaced after you dropped her.
At the time she may have felt rejected ~ & she may have needed him.
It could have been a 'rebound romance', rather than a 'real romance'.
However, if the time is right, friendship can, sometimes, develop into love.
If you dropped her, you cannot just expect her to drop him, to come back to you.
You have been trying to get her back for about 4 weeks.
You seem certain that she still likes you.
She tells you that she loves you.
She is travelling with you to see your parents.It could very well be that she still has strong feelings for you, but knows that you developed 'cold feet' before.
She may, therefore, be feeling wary.
You couldn't blame her if this were the case.
If she says that she loves you, and is visiting your parents with you, then it sounds as if she may care.
But what about the other boy?
What's happening about him?
Has their relationship ~ and his feelings ~ been taken into account?
She won't give you any promise of commitment.
She keeps saying that she needs more time.In the circumstances, I'm not too surprised that she doesn't feel ready to commit, and that she needs time.
How does she know that you won't drop her again, if she commits ?
Isn't that what frightened you off in the first place?
And maybe she doesn't want to make the wrong decision and upset the other boy, unnecessarily, or feel that she is just using him.
Is she making you chance her?I don't know what this means.
Does she have mixed feelings about the other boy?Well, if he is a close friend, and the relationship developed into a 'kissing' one, then she must have some feelings, concerning him and what has happened between them. It must be a very difficult situation.
Is she afraid that you will change your mind again?You couldn't blame her if she was.
How do you get her to commit?You can't make someone commit.
You can try to convince her that your feelings are real, and that you won't let her down again, but you are going to have to build up trust again, which can take time.
And you may have to accept that her feelings for you have changed and that she now has feelings for someone else.
Alternatively, if she
does still want a relationship with you, then you are going to have to accept that she will have to sort out her relationship with the other boy.
You need to talk this through with her ~ calmly & objectively.
And you need to be patient with her ~ it sounds as if she has been patient with you.
Good luck!
