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#277358 04/05/08 04:16 AM
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Ok, thanks.
So, like I dont know. One of my friends just told me (possibly inadvertently, she does that sometimes) that her dad slaps her sometimes when hes mad.

I dont know. I just dont know what to do, or say, because I promised not to tell someone (that was probably a mistake) but I also have this need to protect her from anything and everything, and it bothers me I cant do anything.

Shes doesnt really listen to the things I tell her about how its wrong and things, because its always the same old story.

I dont know. It just really bothers me (like I said).

So yeah...thanks for listening, and sorry for laying this on you. I still will probably have to post the topic (unless you have some really good insight) but typing this to you helped me realize that its all alot bigger than me, or you, or anyone else on here.

I still dont know what Ill do though.


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Anyone?


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I did what I could before she went to bed. I think I calmed her down enough, and her dad is in jail tonight, so I know shes safe for a few more hours, not that hes ever seriously injured her (aside from emotionally).

Im so confused.


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does your friend have a parent other than her dad. Is there a mother in the picture.

BLR #277368 04/05/08 04:40 AM
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Gah, so this girl that Im friends with, and really care alot about, tells me stuff all the time in confidence.
It bothers me sometimes. I can only ever tell her the same thing, and even though its true, she never believes it.

Sometimes she says its "nice" or "sweet" that I care about her, and I think that she deserves better, but I know she doesnt believe it.

I mean, the things she tells me. Things like her being nearly raped last week by her drunk friend, or like her dad hitting her.

I wish it was all just drama, but I know its all true. It bothers me to know that things like this happen to her, and I cant protect her.

Worst yet, she blames herself. All the time. No matter what I tell her, she just ignores it, or comes up with something else to tell herself.

Oh, and the whole "her dad hits her" thing. That really bothers me. Like, her dad got arrested for drunk driving tonight, and she accidentally told that to her dads girlfriend when she called.

Next thing I know, shes all upset, because her dads girlfriend says shes probably going to break it off now, and shes worried her dad will find out it was her fault and slap her.

I dont know. It bothers me. She always speaks so nice about him, and I know she loves him to death. Then, as I tell her that its not right, she says things like "I deserve it" and "Its ok, its not really that bad" or "Eh, he just gets mad sometimes. He never really hurts me."

Shes making xxxxxxxxx excuses for him. I dont care who the [censored] you are, NO ONE deserves to get hit, ESPECIALLY not her.

On top of all of this, I feel so helpless. I want to protect her, but I cant. I cant threaten her dad, like I have other people who hurt her, and I cant find some place to get her out of there, because I know she would never leave. I cant call child services, or tell my parents, because I promised I wouldnt. Besides, child services is there constantly anyways, and they have never noticed anything.

God, I feel like this should be anonymous, but I actually want some response, and we know anonymous posts are more likely to get ignored.


Last edited by PDM; 04/05/08 01:27 PM.

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BLR #277369 04/05/08 04:44 AM
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Originally Posted By: blr
does your friend have a parent other than her dad. Is there a mother in the picture.
There is a mother in Ohio (about 2hrs away).
Her mother is a little crazy in the head though, thats why she lives with her dad. They were talking about moving to Ohio (where her dads girlfriend lives) and they have been slowly moving stuff there, but Im not sure it will happen in the end.


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It is really late there now. Are you at her house or is she at yours? Why is child services there in the first place. Are there siblings that they are concerned about.

BLR #277374 04/05/08 05:07 AM
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ok when I was 18 I got married (we had a kid together and he usto hit me when he drunk to much,,which was all the time..it started as just slaps,, then it got worsh,,, you allways think some how its your fault or that they are just drunk so they dont know better,,,BUT THEY DO. I only told my sister when he first started to do it but I would never tell them the bad stuff that went on.....I was lucky and got out of that ...you guys sound young,,and it sounds like there may be more going on then she even tells you.. if you want to be a good friend then dont keep you mouth shut..speak up..tell your mom. tell your teacher,, tell anyone close to you..thne they well make the call , and it well not be on you,, if thatw what you are afread of.. but doing nothing is being a bad friend,,,yes she may get mad at first, but she well get over it..trust me...and you well know she is safe...please be a good friend and tell some one...do it for her..

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If child protective services is there and you say they don't do anything then there is the perfect coverup for your telling them what you know. The father will think that they are just doing their job since they have been coming there anyway. First of all, when you report something like this they don't reveal where they got the information. If you tell them that there is the chance that the father will get angry and take it out on her, they will be very careful not to let the information get back to him. You must tell them what you know, and as soon as possible. She is obviously being exposed to some bad situations. He is probably an alcholic. Just because you gave her your word does not mean that you should keep a secret that could hurt her. People who live with abuse don't realize how bad it is because they are so used to it. It always gets worse and it always does damage. Phycical damage is the least of her worries. She already thinks she deserves it. If she doesn't learn that this isn't the way people treat people they love, she will go on to pick a boyfriend and a husband that treat her the same way, because this is the only kind of love that she is used to. Then that exposes her children to abuse. It is a never ending vicious cycle. Help her break it now, while she still has a chance at a normal life. Even if they find her a foster home, at least it won't be one where there is alcohol and abuse.



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suzzie #277391 04/05/08 07:18 AM
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you sound like your under the legal age of 18;if this is the case tell your parents about your concerns;they will know how to handle it.if your friend is over 18 they can leave home if they can find someone trustworthy too stay with.if they have sisters and brothers they can ask faimly court to grant them legal custory of any minor children.I agree with the above tell someone in authority what's going on,before someone gets badly injuryed.keep us posted;my prayers are with you and your friend.


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