RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Fool me once shame on U. Fool me twice shame on ME

im at a loss and now feel as empty as ever. I've been in a relationship for 4 years now with a girl Im deeply in love with. for the past year its felt like she doesnt love or like me as much as before. like shes been steadily loosing interest in me. when I ask her or even try and talk about it with her she denies it or gets mad. about a month ago I found out she'd been talking to other guys online and over the phone. no big deal right? some girls need guy friends to balance out a few things. it wasnt a big deal until i found out she told him/them that she wanted to have sex and fool around with the other guys talks to. that pretty much crushed me to the point where i wanted to break up because she also told him she wasnt attracted to me any more. but I decided I'd give our relationship another shot because i still loved her. we talked it over and she told me she wanted this to work as well. it was going a little rough but steady and getting better or so i thought. a few days ago i found out again that she was talking to my former best friend; former because he asked my gf to have sex with him before we moved out of state. again not a big deal but its kind of the law of nature you dont do that kind of thing in that situation but heres where the straw breaks the back. she told him if she had thought he was serious she wouldve had sex with him that night. although she hasnt cheated on me physically(that i know of) to me cheating is 70% in the mind and sex, etc completes it. so here I am. I dont know whether I should break it off or keep trying. common sense says its at an end but I still love her no matter what shes done. Please, what should i do?!?!

Hello, I'm sorry to hear the situation in you're in, but I'm afraid your topic says it all. You may love her to the end of the world and back, but she no longer shares the same feelings, and I think it's just a matter of time before talking becomes doing. I agree with you: cheating is mostly mental.

Hi Danerz & welcome.

I don't understand this girl.

She denies that she is losing interest in you, yet she is 'flirting' with other men, to the extent of discussing potential sex & saying that she no longer found you attractive.

Unfortunately, this can't be a huge surprise to you, because you had already sensed it.

Yet she wants to stay with you.
Why?
What is it about you that keeps her with you, when she finds other boys / men more attractive?

Find out.

But it looks as if you and sala are both right.
You love her desperately; she seems to be losing interest.

Find out the truth, then make some decisions.

She should not be leading you and other men on; you shouldn't be putting up with doubts and untruths.

Hello Danerz. Sorry to hear that you are going thru all this. As I was reading your post, one question kept creeping into my mind. Where are you getting this information. Your girlfriend or your friends?
If it's your girlfriend telling you all this, you have some serious trust issues to work thru if you think she's worth it. You also need to evaluate if you can ever fully trust her again.

If it's your friends telling you this, what are their motives? True friendship and they think you have a right to know or is there some other motive for trying to ruin your relationship?

I also agree with one of the previous posters. Cheating is mostly mental and it's just one short step to physical.

You've got some hard decisions ahead of you. Please think them thru carefully.

wlcome danerz breakup if youre more tha 59% sure she's cheating on you.