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Hey, to introduce myself I am a 19 year old college student who, up until a couple of months ago, had been girlfriendless his whole life.

I met my girlfirned around February and we've been going out since then.

Our relationship is decent i suppose on the physical side. We kiss and cuddle and do all that whenever we're alone.

However, my problem is that personality-wise, she's terribly boring. At first I figured she was just shy perhaps, and that she'd open up to me... But I've seen her around her closest friends and she acts the same way.

She really indecisive, she works on school work ALL the time. I copliment her plenty and even surprised her with a couple of gifts randomly, but she has never even given me a single compliment throughout our time together. (I've given her plenty though :P)

I don't believe she's really going to change so I was just wondering if I should break up with her. I am quite extroverted and I do require some passion and excitement in my relationships. (Beyond physical I mean.) And I can't even talk to her really becaus all she ever says is "Yea," and "Uh-huh."

Whats holding me back is that I think all this, but when i'm with her I slip into a sort of comfortable and content physical feeling. Nothing major, no heart poundingness, just a decent feeling when I hold her close. I contribute this slightly to having been relationshipless for so long and me still experiecning the wonder of physcial touch with a female still. :P

So what should I do?

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Talk about how you feel about the relationship with her. Let her understand that she needs to open up. Just give it time.


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Hi fribjits

Welcome to the forum.

May I ask a question ~
Do you really like this girl, or do you just like having a girlfriend?

Do you ask her about her intereasts and about what excites her?

What, do you think, made her go out with you in the first place?
What made you ask her out?
What does she like about you?

Yes ~ get communicating.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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To answer you're questions...

First of, sadly no, I pretty much am only glad to have a girlfriend. I can't say I enjoy HER company personally, just as the fact that it's my first GF. >.<

I did have a chat with her but she told me that she was basically just naturally shy and maybe she would talk more to me and maybe not. I find it hard to believe though that she'll break out of her shell. XD

I've asked her about her interests, what kind of things bring out the most passion in her life, but talking about things like passion and life and feelings in general to a bookworm like her is grating and awkward XD.

Thats about it for the Q'S ^^

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I feel that you are useing her to keep from being alone and in a way i think she may be picking this up you need to talk to her more get to know her and let her get to know you if she is that boreing then you need to tell her you need more action more spice perhaps you need to iniate it or something but a physical attration is shallow and boreing it gets old after a while be spontaneous do something new and get her to join in if she refuses then tell her the truth that you and her were just not meant to be together cause you need someone that is as outgoing as you and do not like to be held back I am sure there are plenty girls around that are like that.


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You need to decide whether or not you are really happy with such a boring person.


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'Do you really like this girl, or do you just like having a girlfriend?' [PDM]

'sadly no, I pretty much am only glad to have a girlfriend. I can't say I enjoy HER company personally, just as the fact that it's my first GF' [fribjits]


No wonder you find her boring ~ you don't even like her.

'.. a bookworm like her ..'

Well. I'm a bit of a bookworm myself. I find 'bookworms' quite interesting, because they are always learning something new from their reading.

'We kiss and cuddle and do all that whenever we're alone.'

Why are you kissing & cuddling someone you don't like?

Sorry ~ I think that you are being very unfair on this girl.

Or ... Maybe she feels the same way you do???


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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All of this makes me very glad I am no longer in the dating stage of life.
Now that you have had a girl friend, why don't you move to the next stage of finding somebody you actually really like.
I am depressed just reading about this. Relationships get so much better than the one you are describing - do both you and the girl a favor and put the relationship out of its misery.

One day, I predict, you will find somebody who interests you - whom you can communicate with, and be excited to be with -and you will know the difference.

As PDM alludes - the girl herself may be quite interesting - only not to you, but to somebody else. She also may not want to open up to you, but she may want to open up to somebody else. Or somebody else may love her for her quiet and demure manner. So in other words, you are doing her no favors by keeping her confined to you, when you aren't even interested in her anyways.

Move on.

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I line up on the side that says you are misusing this young woman.

In fact, you sound what some women might call a bit of a creep.

How do you think she would feel if you were to show her the posts you have written about her? How would you feel if someone you considered a friend had written that you were "terribly boring", a person whose company was unenjoyable, that talking to you was awkward and grating?

Hell, after writing down what you have written about this girl I think you're a creep.

Back to spending weekends at the Royal Palm Motel; leave this girl alone.

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Remember, you cannot insult other members of the forum.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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hey,
I have experiences this sort of problem for a long time with my bf.we are both naturally very shy ( unless we are drunk).it was always difficult to talk as my bf never asked me many questions and if you want to have a discussion with someone than it is always helpful to ask questions.the other problem was that my bf never gave me long answers ( because he never knew what to say or did not want to say anything wrong).gradually he learnt to ask more questions and that made me feel more confident and opened me up more to him and made me think that he was interested in me.ur girlfriend may have the impression that you think she is boring she must have noticed.if you want her to speak more you have to try and speak more to her too and not put her under pressure, i am sure that she is quite aware of the fact that you dont speak much to each other and i bet that she feels quite nervous about it.maybe she worries so much about you two not speaking that she constantly thinks about what to say next ( that makes it even worse as then you get even more nervous). some people take longer to open up. i found it really difficult to soeak to my bf because i loved him sio much that i couldnt think of much to say- i think that is quite natural when you love somebody.i suggest that you should give her some time.it sounds or seems as if she is shy i am sure she does not want to be but she just cant help it.perhaps she just loves you too much.get her more involved in your interests and just talk about things - it would be helpful if you start the conversation.show her that you care about her and want to work at this problem.you may regret losing her if you walk away from this.

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Hi Fairy & welcome.

I'm pleased that you have found someone you love ~ and I hope that he loves you in return.

The problem with this situation is that this boy does not love his girlfriend ~ he doesn't even like her.

It's no wonder that she doesn't seem comfortable with him. Relationships should be based on trust. How can she trust him?
I think that this is terribly wrong ~ to give a girl the impression that you like her enough to want her as a girlfriend, and then criticise her, and then say you don't even like her, but like the idea of having a girlfriend.

It's unfair & very wrong. He should find a girl he likes and allow her to find someone who likes her.



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I'm not insulting anybody, I don't think. If one's actions and attitudes bring to mind a characterization that happens to be insulting, there really is nothing to be done other than avoid the issue at hand which is undesirable in an exchange of ideas.

I guess I could have said "Gee, that's not very nice.", but that would have been far too mild in describing the behavior of someone who says 'I have a girl that I think is boring and annoying and who I don't like to talk to and whose company I don't enjoy, but I like to keep her around to make out with." Do you agree that "not very nice" does not do justice to such an attitude?

Creepy is as creepy does

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have to say, it was actually quite good for me to read ur message PDM,made me aware of a few things.
my bf told me on thursday that he is seeing someone and that he 'wants to see how it goes'.we had a relationship and then an on off thing for 4 years.im feeling very down at the moment but at the same time i think he never made enough effort to speak so maybe im better off without him.ive never had such a problem in my two other relationships ive had so thankfully i know that its not my fault.its still quite upsetting though.

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Sorry to hear that Fairy, but as you already know, you are better off with someone who cares in return.


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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