Dear Jilly -
Time investments can get tricky though. People have vastly different ideas about what is worth doing.
When we first started dating, for a time period when I was getting BellaOnline going Bob paid *all* the house bills. So mortgage, electric, etc. His investment of time to "pay my share" was fairly large. So he was working and investing that time and I wasn't thanking him.
I try to be more aware now - but there are so many variations:
* I want him to get rid of the steel. It takes a solid year and I nag at him a lot. But clearly this is not something he wants to do, so why did I nag? Why didn't I just do it myself?
* I want him to cook me dinner. This is something he enjoys doing. So he does it, and I'm thankful.
* I need him to pay the total house bills. He does it without a single complaint, and I don't thank him. This is an immense investment of his time.
So I think it is very much a balancing act depending on the interests of people.
Bob likes car stuff. To him that's a fun thing, to go hang out with the car guys.