Hello Darknoldor ~ welcome
I'm not sure about the age in 9th grade. Year 9, here in the UK, is for 13-14 year olds, but I think that 9th grade is for students aged about 14-15. Is that right?
People change a huge amount between their early to mid teens and adulthood. Very few relationships that begin during one's teens will stand the test of time. There are exceptions, of course. I know a couple who started dating at 15 and are still together in their late 50s. My husband & I are also in our 50s and we, too, have been together since our teens. But I think that we are unusual in this respect.
As I have mentioned on other threads, people in their teens are only just out of childhood, and they are ready to grow and change a lot, as they experience the world ~ new people, new places. Couples who seem to be perfect for each other and set for life often grow apart at this stage. It happens more often than not, I would say. If you have been together since age 15 to age 20, then I think that you have already been very successful and done very well ~ and I am not really surprised that there have been problems in your relationship in recent times.
One's first love is very special and, if there has been a long-term happy relationship, then parties may really want it to last and may even consider becoming engaged ~ even married in some cases. But ... chances are that it won't last and that, as people grow, change, mature, etc, they will want something different. That is when the relationship starts to dissolve. It really is better when this happens naturally, and not after marriage or, especially, after children.
It may be that you are soul mates, and that you are meant to be together. If that is the case, then you may well experience 'happy ever after', eventually, but do be prepared for that not to happen. She may, indeed, have grown out of this relationship. If that is the case, then you will be happier if you, too, move on. You would not be happy with a girl who was not totally committed to you and the relationship and who was always wondering about the wider world and other boys.
People cannot help changing. It is natural and normal at this stage in life.
Either way, I think that you will always be special to her ~ as she will be for you. Enjoy the memories and keep them positive.
Take care & good luck
