Sooo... First off, I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish by posting this, so keep that in mind. I just want another veiw on the situation from someone who knows nothing about it.
Anyways!
I'm and eighteen year old girl. I have a wonderful boyfriend that I adore, and who loves me back. I can easily see us spending the next few years together. It's not one of those 'teen' romances. We're both fairly mature about relationships.
That's not the problem at all, though.
I recently met a boy through an online game and we became fairly good friends pretty quickly. Over the last two or three weeks, especially. I live in Seattle-ish, he lives in Ohio. He's 19, just a few months older than me. We've traded numbers and we talk online most days and occasionally on the phone.
He's a really nice guy, and a good friend. He knows I have a boyfriend.
The problem is that before when I first became aquainted with him, it was almost painfully obvious that he had a crush on me right from the start. It's always sort of thrilling, when you know that someone likes you, even if you don't like them back. I can be flirtacious, I know this, but mostly it's just my sense of humor. I don't like him as anything more than a friend.
Recently, he admitted that he liked me way more than he should. He is constantly telling me I'm pretty or amazing or some other sweet thing, and that he wishes I didn't have a boyfriend. He's said that I'm perfect for him, the girl of his dreams. And I'm thinking... "Where did you get that? We don't have a lot in common at all."
I've tried to gently reassure him that I just want him to be my friend, but that still doesn't deter him.
He wants to save up and visit me in Seattle this summer or sometime soon. I'd be fine with that, IF it was only just as a friend. But, I know that he's picturing himself sweeping me off my feet and stealing my heart away to ride into the vibrant Ohio sunset. He wants to "steal me away from my boyfriend".
I don't know what to say to him anymore. I feel like he's dissapointed in me when I reaffirm the "just friends" situation, but the next day he'll ask me again "what I get out of all this" (reffering to talking to him nearly every day online, webcamming, talking on the phone, etc). He takes it all as signs that I obviously love him or something, I don't get it.
He might be boyfriend material, but I do completely adore my WONDERFUL BOYFRIEND. I don't know how I can put it clearly to him, because so far he hasn't gotten the message. He asks the same questions over and over; all meant to get me to admit that I want to replace my boyfriend.
There are other things too, like how he's a virgin with trust issues due to being cheated on. Jokingly (I hope) offering me his virginity. He's not unnatractive, he just hasn't found the right girl, he says.
I don't know what to say to him anymore, and I almost feel like I'm leading him on. I don't want to just quit talking to him, because he is a good friend, I just feel bad that he adores me so much when I don't feel the same way.
Adviceeee? D8
Last edited by Keruru; 05/18/10 01:54 AM.
