One lesson I've learned from marriage is to try your best to have a very open and honest discussion
before getting married about setting boundaries with relatives.
Everyone's heard the stories about the "mama's boy" husband who can't really function without his mother playing a key role in the marriage, but less extreme situations can be a major problem, too:
(1) Your brother-in-law has a key to your house for
emergencies but you come back from vacation and there he is on your couch, simply because he "needed to get away from the wife."
(2) His niece gets $100 gift for high school graduation but my nephew only "deserves" $25.
(3) Aunt Bertha drops by unexpectedly every Sunday -- it thus becomes "expected" but you're still inconvenienced.
(4) Various brothers keep "crashing" at your house every time they're in town; the stays are never to visit you but rather to buy a vehicle, see a concert, party with old buddies, etc.
(5) Uncle Joe has yet another "crisis" for which your spouse has to drop everything (including your dinner plans) and go see him; this has happened six times this summer......
I understand that we all want to "be there" for our relatives, but I think that the marriage should come first and foremost.
Okay - done ranting!
