Quote:
My roommate is probably right that I do have a good chance in getting on with Dilliards...

...From what I've researched, thats really the only positions they're offering at Dilliards.
It sounds like you are not really sure what is on offer.

First, I would say, why not phone Dilliards, yourself?
Tell them about your qualifications and experience and find out, for sure, if they have a job for you; whether there is anything in your own line of interest; what opportunities there are for the future; etc, etc. You seem to be making decisions based on possibilities, fears, risks and maybes, rather than hard facts. If they seem to have something to offer, 'sell yourself' to them.

You say that you know that you have more options and could look for work in Arkansas. So why don't you look?
Have you checked out anywhere? Surely your company isn't the only one offering the work you like? You must be good at your work if you are getting on so well, so, again, you could 'sell yourself' to another company ~ tell them how good you are.

I know that this sounds difficult, because you are shy, and find it hard to relate to people, but do try. Tell yourself that you can do it. Read some self-help books like 'How to Win Friends & Influence People'.

Second, don't allow yourself to remain in this rut of miserable loneliness. You sound like a very nice and intelligent young man, but you have got to be more assertive. What are your choices?

You say that you either go to Arkansas, where you will have your friends, but be miserable in work, or stay in Mississippi, without your friends, be lonely and stressed, but enjoy your work.

Which is more important to you?
Job satisfaction?
Friendships?

But are there more options?
You could go with your friends and find a job that you like.
You could stay where you are and go out and find like-minded people.

Again, I know that this sounds difficult, since you are very shy and take a long time to be relaxed with new people, especially as you feel that you have already tried and failed, but you are not going to have a successful private life if you are working all hours and then getting rid of your frustrations in the gym.

You need a life full of other things. You are only 25! You need to have lots of interests to be interesting to others ~ especially girls. Many girls like chatting and dancing, for example. Of course, a lot like IT, but they may not want to talk about it too much. I said before, 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'. I wasn't joking when I suggested amateur dramatics.

You need to make time for yourself, so that you can build up a life outside the office, and a social network. If you are working 45-50 hours per week, then I cannot see how your current job allows for this ~ so perhaps it's not so great, after all?

Or does it fill a gap?
Does it stop you needing to worry about friendships, too, much because you are married to your work?

You gave some advice to another lad on the forum: 'Praying helps too. Try talking to God and see if He gives you an answer, or at least a different path to travel.' If you believe in this, try praying, yourself. It may help to calm you, so that you can reach a reasoned decision.

Why not make a new start with your old friends?
I wonder how close you are to them, though, since you say how very lonely you are ~ even now, with them around.

What about relatives? Are you close to them?

Either way, friends need to be treasured. Going with them has got to be better than being unhappy and lonely, hasn't it?
With the exception of the job, this town seems to have very negative associations for you.

Maybe you could go on an assertiveness course ~ as part of your personal development for work, perhaps?


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.