Short answer/response:
Without putting labels to anybody, I would say that it wasn't necessarily that he was afraid of commitment, but rather that he liked the idea of a healthy, long-lasting relationship than the actuality of one.
I do not think the break-up was your fault since it sounds like you tried to work through it some, but he wasn't responding and was effectively pushing you away at the same time.
As for the "silly" things... my take is that people in a lasting relationship will have to make some changes to their lives, but they also need to accept quirks about the other person, and just learn to love them, or at least accept them as part of life and part of the person you love.
