Hi JES & welcome.
You are both quite young, working hard & bringing up a child ~ without the help of grandparents.
This can be very stressful.
Moving is stressful.
Moving when pregnant is even more stressful. Moving away from the support of your parents may result in yet more stress because of less support.
Children are fantastic but they are hard work ~ and they can result in post-natal depression. This can last and can affect relationships, so be sure that you are not a sufferer.
If you are being a good Mum and a good worker outside the home, then you are probably very tired ~ especially if you lose sleep at night with the baby.
He is probably tired too.
I am guessing that he may feel too young to cope with all the responsibility that has been thrust upon him, and he may also feel that he doesn't get enough of your attention, because you put your time & energy into your daughter and your job.
Many men feel this way ~ especially young men.
At 21 he probably feels overwhelmed too.
I didn't have childen til I was 30 ~ both of us still felt overwhelmed, and exhausted.
I remember a man I knew at 21 saying that he just could not cope with all the responsibility that having a young family put upon him.
I think that ~ generally ~ women can cope better. They have a strong maternal instinct and all their love goes on the baby.
Men often have a less strong baby bond (not always, certainly) and they can feel left out of the mother-baby love bond. This may upset him, which may, in turn, be part of why he wants to upset you.
I think you do need to talk. You need to explain that you are exhausted by work, housework and baby care. That you do love him and the baby, but that you are tired. That you would like more help in the home ~ and that this would give you a project to work on together ~ as a couple. It could be a place filled with love and happiness if you shared your time, worries, housework, concerns and your baby.
Try to find a babysitter whom you really, really can trust with your child and make an effort to go somewhere together as a couple from time to time. Perhaps the grandparents could come to stay or you could stay with them ~ but try to find some 'couple time'.
If you love each other and want your family to stay together then you do need to work at it, and you are probably both feeling so tired and overwhelmed that you don't know where to start.
The best thing is to clarify matters. You are both young with responsibilities and so you are tired and stressed ~ both of you.
However, you love each other and you both love your daughter. This is a strong start. Decide to take some time out together from hard work to relax occasionally ~ just the two you at times, just the three of you at other times - 'little holidays'
Make time to say 'I love you' even if you have to add that you are tired, busy, etc.
Plan your 'little holidays' while you are sharing the housework.
Acknowledge the fact that there are problems ~ but also that this is to be expected and that you can sort things out if you work at them together.
Good luck!
Welcome to the forum.
