There seems to be a lot going on here.
'Baggage' from a previous relationship seems to be affecting your attitude to this one.
This girl seems to love you, but also to be unsure about her future with you.
Why would that be?
Because of this 'baggage' perhaps?
I think that you need to go to relationship copunselling in order to sort out your minds and feelings ~ if not for yourselves, for your daughter. No-one should be living within a 'verbally abusive relationship' ~ and that pattern needs to be stopped. It's no wonder you both cry. You probably need some expert advice on how to deal with this. Get rid of those demons.
You also need to talk ~ calmly ~ no crying and pleading or shouting or sulking, no recriminations ~ just quiet conversation, allowing both of you time to state how you feel, while the other really listens & tries to understand.
