Forgiveness project – wrote a long private essay about my ex to help release those emotions. I was 18-and-a-month when I married. Too young. The past is in the past, and I need to release any tangle of emotions from that so I can more fully participate in my projects of the now.
Monthly Archives: March 2014
Do Not Complain Reboot 34 Day 5 –
The event that tripped me up on that last round was, once again, the mess in the house. It was a relatively minor thing but I think because this is such an ongoing problem it builds and builds and then I just snap. This emphasizes for me that handling the underlying issue is key. The fact that I have stress building over time isn’t good for me or for my projects I’m working on.
I need to take a two pronged approach.
One, of course, I need to work on the mess. And I am making that effort. Every day I organize just one area. I work diligently down my to-do list. There is progress being made.
Two, though, is I have to be at peace with the current state. Living stressed until a magical day when the house is completely clean seems to be unhealthy. I need to find a place of peace in my mind where I say “yes the house is messy, and it is getting better. It’s better than it used to be. And that is all right.”
I’ve pondered why the mess bothers me so. We can’t have people over right now, and that bothers me. I’d like to have friends visit for wine or whatever and we can’t. Also, we tend to have to waste time hunting for things. I am already incredibly behind on many projects. Time spent on hunting for things is time I could have been catching up on my email backlog. So those things are like the drips of water torture. I need to change my mindset on that. This is all within my own mind.
I need to just have friends over anyway and be content that it’s messy when I do.
When I look for things, I need to look at it as an opportunity to clean. It’s not “wasted time”. It’s time I am now investing in making things better. That way each hunting expedition is actually a good thing, to help the house get cleaner.
Tested what yoga I could do if I didn’t have a mat handy. Always good to explore the options. Yoga each day is good for the spine!
Heading into 10pm meditation time! I have been working all day on examining book covers. Investigating the nature of what draws a person in. I will meditate on the nature of what catches the emotion and interest of a reader.