Bringing up the drama
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
we've been together for 5 1/2 years. we lost our homes back in August '05 due to Katrina. things started going downhill due to all the surrounding drama, and in January she said we needed to go on a break because she needed her space. it's been almost a month (the 13th), and she has this new guy she hangs out with but says that they're only friends. in fact, she kept their friendship secret at the tail end of our relationship, and now they hang out a lot. mutual friends have said that the guy tells them they make out and stuff, but every time i ask her she says "no, it's BS". i honestly don't believe her, but the truth of the matter is i don't care who's lying, whether it's her or a group of people. i just want her back. i was saving up for an engagement ring before the hurricane hit.
i've made the mistake of "bringing up the drama" in almost every conversation we've had since the "break". she tells me she still loves me...but...i don't know. she will not agree to confront these people in my presence. her telling me it's not true is not enough. especially after keeping a friendship secret. and i KNOW the guy wants her.
what do i do to get her back? pretend that i'm cool with just being friends? help me. i'm going freaken crazy!!
No you shouldn't let her think you are ok with the break.
Give her the space she needs by only calling her once a week to see how she is doing, to let her know that you still want her back. Be cheerful and don't talk about your relationship. Limit the calls to 15 mins.
This will give her the space she needs and give you the contact you need. It will also make her aware that you are not needy.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com