Do you think he still loves me?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Hey, here I come again. I actually went more than a week without writing you but something else happened. A couple of weeks ago I saw my ex at the bowling alley but he only stayed for a few minutes. When I got out of my mom's car, he was getting out of him mom's car and my mom said his face lit up when he saw me. I didn't really say anything to him, though, and he only stayed for a few minutes and left. We did talk, but he had to approach me. I know this was wrong, but I have heard that acting like you don't care will bring your guy back. Any way, we hardly talked for about a week and a half and finally I approached him at school and after that he started coming up to me again. Last Fri. at school he hugged me alot and then that night at the bowling alley he was hugging me a lot, playing with my hair and he even wrote (with highlighter where you can only see it in the black light at the bowling alley) "property of ....... (his name)on my pants. I was responding to his hugs by hugging him back. Sometimes we would just be standing there and we would just lean together and hug. He even asked me that night who I liked and I finally admitted that I still like him. I said that I didn't want to scare him and he said "you won't" and I told him that I did not think I would ever get over him completely which is the same thing he told a mutual friend of ours a few weeks ago about me.I then, of course, probably messed up by saying "but that doesn't mean anything" because I don't want him to think I am going to chase after him and scare him off. He did not say anything back to me but he continued to hug me a lot and it was after that that he wrote that comment on my pants. I did not talk to him the rest of the weekend and then yesterday we did not even talk at school even though we say each other once. At the end of the day a bunch of us were standing there and he walked over and gave a friend of mine a hug but did not even say anything to me. That really hurt even thought I know he just likes her as a friend. I really think he wants to be with me again but I then get confused by his actions a few days later. Right now we can't really do anything because he is going to the school dance in 2 weeks with another girl (just as friends), neither one of them like the other one in a romantic way. Still, though, it would not right to start up a relationship again and be at the dance with one girl while your girlfriend is there, too. I almost went after him when he walked away without saying anything to me but I just couldn't. My mom thinks that maybe he wanted me to come after him but I don't know. He is known as a player and even admits that when he doesn't have a girl friend, he is a player but I don't think he would try playing me. We were very close and loving when we were going out and he even told me that he would probably never love anyone else like he loved me. Do you think he still loves me? My mom told me to just meet him half way, for me to approach him and ask for a hug sometimes. She thinks that is what he is waiting for. What do you think? Sorry this is so long. Advice
I agree with your Mom.

You should meet him half way because now you are letting him make all the moves. Make sure you only meet him half way and don't let yourself get too aggressive with him. He seems to have a reputation as a player so you wouldn't want to give him too much attention.

If you two start going out have a talk with him and tell him you have heard he is a player and that you won't stand for that behavior. The first time he gets out of line give him a warning, second time give him the heave ho.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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